Biology

I am Joel Tolentino Duque. Currently, I am a 3rd year student at UP Diliman taking up the undergraduate course BS Biology. In high school, Biology was my waterloo. That may, in part, explain my poor performance in my Biology subjects. My card grades in Biology 11 = 2.5, 12 = 2.5, 180 = 2.25, 102 = 3, 115 = 2.5, and 140 = 2.25. My mother convinced me, somehow, to study biology to become a good medical student and eventually a doctor in the future. In the past, my mother was denied access to the medical school in UST just because her father was a farmer. That translated, more or less, to the questionable capacity of her parents to pay for her supposedly high tuition fees. Had she known this, she told me that she have put 'landlord' as the occupation of her father. And so here I am, more than half way through my course. I liked my Economics subject in high school, having obtained the gold medal for that subject in high school. Also, I liked Mathematics for a long time, from my years in preparatory school all the way to my last year in high school. I could've taken up BS Economics or BS Mathematics instead but I guess I have failed myself for not having asserted to my family, especially to my mother that I didn't want to be a doctor. I don't know to what extent I am prejudging Medicine with Biology. My life is definitely starting to unfold before me and I have no idea to where I am going or what I'll be doing in the next, 5, 10, or 20 years in my life. Life is both fortunate and unfortunate. It is full of questions. Unfortunate because the roads are uncertain and the events are random. And fortunate because there are wonderful and not so wonderful but normal people, nonetheless, who have been there to comfort me and give me a semblance of normality plainly because of their existence. I give my biggest thanks to you. Let's face life with a renewed sense of faith and leap towards the bright tomorrow!

Kulangot

Malambot
Mainit-init
Pananggalang
Iba't ibang kulay

Mahirap makamtan
Mahinhin
Pakipot
Hindi naman ipot

Malagkit
Di ube
Di suman
Di pagkain

Masarap?
Di ko alam
Kung gusto mo
Iyong subukin

Umiwas siya sa akin
Hindi niya gusto
Ang aming paghihiwalay
Ay sadyang napakasakit

Nakaloloko
Nakababaliw
Umiikot ang aking mundo
Dahil sa kanya

Nakaleletse
Nakabuburat
Kupal
Bwiset

Puno ng pagsisi
Hindi naging kami
Pinanaginip ko
Ang pagkakataong yaon

Malungkot
Pero sana hindi palagi
Gusto ko rin namang
Lumigaya kahit papaano

Ngayon ko lamang napagtanto
Na ang nilalang na iyon ay parang isang kulangot
Mahirap sungkitin, mahirap tanggalin
Ngunit kung tapos na, anong ginhawa

Math 2

I was able to take Math 2 as one of my subjects this semester. There is currently an idea circulating around my head whether or not I will make any mistakes in the entire subject. Putting a goal as such adds a new dimension to its study. I want to bring learning Practical Mathematics to a brand new level.

End: 1:36 P.M.

Note: I made mistakes in this subject. Nevertheless, I got a grade of 1.0 and vindicated myself in my math subjects.

http://www.mat.uniroma1.it/~fanelli/mathpage.htm

Routine

http://www.neurodermitis-im-griff.de/web/patienten/kids/routine.htm

I know that I should at least make a schedule of the things that I should do (or what is expected of me). It was difficult to carry 2 biology books around the UP campus. These were Brock Biology of Microorganisms and Botany: An Introduction to Plant Biology. I should make sufficient effort so as not to turn my effort worthless. Also, I should realize that I would carry them back to the library with an effort which is more or less equal to taking them around and home.

End: 1:32 P.M.

3rd Year, 2nd Semester, Academic Year 2005-2006

Just so you may know, my schedule for this semester is as follows:

CLASS CODE SUBJECT SECTION UNITS DAYS TIME ROOM
37533 Bio 101 MHW 3 MTh 1-2:30 P.M. IB 105
37535 Bio 101 MHWHRU Th 2:30-5:30 P.M. PH 4209-11
37547 Bio 120 MHQ 4 MTh 7:30-8:30 A.M. IB 104
37548 Bio 120 MHQRU MTh 8:30-11:30 A.M. IB 204
37562 Bio 150 TFQ 4 TF 7:30-8:30 A.M. IB 104
37564 Bio 150 TFQXY TF 2:30-5:30 P.M. IB 214
39160 Math 2 TFR 3 TF 8:30-10 A.M. MB 117
15674 PI 100 MHV1 3 MTh 11:30 A.M.-1 P.M. CAL 401

Don't drink coffee

Do not drink coffee. Not following this simple advice will more or less lead to a sleepless day. You may also have occurrences of hallucinations wherein the world is spinning.

http://jcooney.net/archive/2005/09/13/6730.aspx

Batong naging ginto

"Putang ina." 'Yan ang aking nadama nang hindi ako pinahintulutan ni Ma'am Roderos na kumuha ng Bio 150 sa panahong ninais ko, ang pang-umaga. Sinabi ko sa kanya na kung panghapon ang Bio 150 ko ay ikakansela ko kung PI 100 na nakuha ko na dahil magkoconflict ito sa Bio 150. Nagmakaawa na ako't lahat ngunit tinarayan niya pa ako sa pamamagitan ng mga salitang: "Ano ba ang gusto mo, PI 100 o Bio 150?" Malumanay akong sumagot sa kanya ng "Bio 150 po." Mangilang minuto rin akong hindi makagalaw at makapag-isip ng mabuti. Kamuntik na magdilim ang aking pag-iisip sa nadama kong uri ng pang-aapi. Mabigat man sa aking kalooban, marapat kong tinanggap ang aking kapalaran. Sa loob-loob ko, "Sayang!" Akala ko pagbibigyan nila ako sa aking kahilingan na maging sa umaga na lang ang bahaging laboratorya sa aking kursong Bio 150. Kahit papaano umaasa ako sa hula ng aking kaibigan na si Jayson na makukuha ko ang aking gustong kaorasan ng aking mga asignatura. At dahil naging maluwag ang aking umaga sa mga araw na darating na ikalawang semestre sa aking paaralan ngayong taon. Kinailangan ko mang ikansela ang aking puwang sa PI 100, umaasa akong mababawi ko ito maya-maya. At muli't muli, ako ay umaasang sa kalauna'y magdudulot ito sa akin ng wala ng iba pang pakiramdam kundi kasiyahan.

Tala: Nakauno ako sa PI 100 sa ilalim ni Prop. Monico Atienza. Uno rin ako sa Math 2. Naipasa ko yung ikatlo kong eksamen sa lektyur ng Bio 150 kahit noong araw ko lang nalaman na may eksam. Wala kasing nakaalala sa aking klasmeyt. Gaga naman si SDJ kasi hindi niya inayos. Araw-araw ako dati magtsek ng UVLE pero noong nag-anowns siya ay hindi na ako tumitingin sa websayt.

Saludo ako

Saludo ako
Sa mamamayang Pilipino
Maghapong nagtatrabaho
Nagpapagod para sa kanilang pamilya
Para sa bansa

Saludo ako
Sa inyo
Pamana sa aking magarap
Para sa Pilipinas
Maraming salamat po
Hindi matatawaran
Ang inyong pagpupursigi
At maging ang munting saludo ko lamang
Ang maiaalay ko sa inyo ngayon
Marapat na tanggapin niyo muna ito

Saludo ako
Sa mga patuloy na lumalaban
Para sa katarungan at kaunlaran
Oo, kayrami pa nating haharapin
Ngunit hindi tayo dapat mawalan ng pag-asa
Dahil ang buhay ay sadyang matagal
Napakaliit lang ang ating nakikita
Kumpara sa kabuuan

Saludo ako
Sa mga naggugol sa kalusugan
Para sa kapakanan ng sambayanang Pilipino
Masarap ngang mamahinga
Masarap ngang magtamad-tamaran
Pero higit na nakagiginhawa ng pakiramdam
Ang magpagod ng may higit na katuturan

Saludo ako
Sa mga tapat sa pagbabayad ng buwis
Kahit na tayo ay sadyang hirap na hirap na
Ay nakuha pa nating patuloy na magtiwala
Sa ating pamahalaan
Naniwala tayo na ito ay makapagbabago

Saludo ako
Sa mga nabubuhay ng marangal
Higit lalo na at ating dangal na lamang
Ang natitira't matatawag nating atin

Saludo ako
Sa ating lahat
Sa payak na kadahilanang tayo'y mga Pilipino
Mabuhay tayong lahat
Mabuhay!

Brotherly letter

Ate Nadia,

First of all, I would like to tell you that I am not trash. I am a human being. If you don't know, your negative comments, even if they are not true, sometimes hurt me too. It's just hard to accept whatever logic you have for verbally hurting me. I just want you to know that I'll stay strong in spite of everything that we have gone through and are going through as brothers and sisters and as friends. I hope that you'll find out an alternative way to vent out your anger or anger/stress which you have accumulated these past few days and weeks. Even though I am starting to have ill feelings for you for the way you have inaccurately treated me, I am still able to hang on and that I will be there for you. I am looking forward to our coming and implicit reconciliation. Good day!

Recent bad encounters with Ate Nadia:
1. She negatively and childishly reacted when I refused to grant her favor of scanning our family pictures. If you only knew that I only wanted to know what your reaction would be, which I certainly did get. Although I would say that I enjoyed what I saw.
2. She referred to me as trash when I wasn't even joking around with her.
3. She knocked and slammed back my door when I closed the door when I was on my blog. Why Joel, why? Because I am tired of her disturbing me when I am weblogging and she making horrible remarks to me, in my face, without regards to my feelings. I was able to formulate a hypothesis about her recent actions and attitude. She was having many exams, left and right, in the middle of her 2nd trimester while I was doing nothing important, playing games all day. I think that you shouldn't give a damn at all with what I am doing with my free time as I don't speak anything when you go out of our house with your friends. You acted in such a fashion, affecting my feelings in a manner which I have never felt from our parents. Sometimes, you become arrogant to the point of being obnoxious and overpowering. I just want for both of us to realize that our mistakes and that we'll be able to see the light at the end of the day.

End: 3:45 P.M.

Masarap matulog

Tulog, gusto kong matulog
Dahil umaga na ha ha
Toot, toot
Nababalisa ako
Hindi alam ang gagawin
Haay, naaantok na ako
May gumagalaw ng mga porselana
Ano ba iyon?
Dadadadaga o
Pupupupusa?
Ansarap matulog sa madaling-araw na tulad nito
O kay tahimik
Maging ang aking pagsulat gamit ng aking lapis ay naririnig ko
Oohhhh
(Buntong-hininga, buntong-hininga)
Pagkatapos ng paguran
Siya nga naman at kaysarap matulog
Kahit na ang aking kamay ay matigas na kahoy
Masarap pa ring matulog
Mahapdi na ang aking mga mata
Lalong masarap matulog
(Hinga, hinga)
Kaya nga ako
Bumibigay na
O, sige na nga, matutulog na ako
Nawa'y magising ako sa tamang oras mamaya ha
(Isang malalim na hinga)

Sinimulan: 12:41 A.M.
Tinapos: 12:52 A.M.

Tulog

Tulog, gusto kong matulog
Dahil binago na ha ha
Toot (2x)
Nababalisa ako
Hindi alam ang gagawin
Haay, naaantok na ako
May gumagalaw ng mga porselana
Ano ba iyon?
Dadadadaga o
Pupupupusa
Ansarap matulog sa madaling-araw
na tulad nito
Okey, tahimik
Maging ang aking pagsusulat
gamit ng aking lapis ay
naririnig ko
Ohhh
*Buntong-hininga* (2x)
Pagkatapos ng pag-uusisa
Siya nga naman o kay sarap
matulog
Kahit na ang kamay na kalog
Masarap pa ring matulog
Mahapdi na ang aking mga mata
Lalong masarap matulog
*Hinga* (2x)
Kaya nga ako
Bumibigay na
O, sige na nga
Matutulog na ako
Nawa'y ito'y maging
sa tamang oras
Sarap ha
*Malalim na hinga*

Tapos: 12:52 N.U.

Lola's failing memory

Yesterday, we went to Bayanan, Bacoor, Cavite, the place of most of my mother's youth, to celebrate the 93rd Birthday of Lola Kikay. Unfortunately, Ate Nadia wasn't able to come with us since she had two exams on that day. At first, I didn't want to come along, reasoning out that my relative in Cavite wouldn't be able to notice my absence and that I have no friends or buddies there. But my mother didn't give up on me and countered I do indeed get their attention for not being there and that Lola will not live long enough for another birthday celebration. And so, I gave in to my dear mother's request. We readied ourselves for departure. We left the apartment at around 4:18 in the afternoon in the middle of alternating rain and mild drizzles. My father went to another street, probably to Boni Serrano (formerly Santolan) Avenue to greatly increase the probability of our being able to get a taxi immediately. After being caught up in numerous traffic jams and making another wise bad decision of rerouting (changing route or way), we finally reached our destination, the house of my grandparents in Cavite. At about 6:15 P.M., Papa paid the taxi driver a whopping and may I comment, an undeserved 400 pesos. Not contented with their generosity, my parents offered the taxi cab Nixy's driver to eat at the place, which offered food, buffet-style. We ate to our hearts' content. My mother reminded me of my foolish saying, "Food equals happiness." During the merrymaking, my father asked me to take the blessing of my older relatives there. Of the five people Papa told me to get blessings from, I only managed to get the blessings of Aunt Mila, Lola Kikay, and Uncle Mario. I failed to get the blessings of others, including Aunts Ester and Rita. Maybe the situation was awkward or I just felt I didn't want to be blessed, or both. And so some of my time there was alone was spent on reflecting about the necessity, significance, and logic of receiving older people's blessings. No doubt, I should be looking into this whenever time does permit me to do so. going back to the event, after the pastor arrived and got himself ready for the mass or what my mother more appropriately called a *she, herself forgot the term here*, ceremony began. It was what I called a mass of goodwill for one's birthday. We listened to the bible reading. It told us that it is we who form Jesus. We are parts with different functions; we are equally important. We live and function in different ways but for one end. Whatever that end may be, it is we who decide. Then the pastor gave out a mediocre sermon to which my mother commented that the pastor wasn't fully prepared. To summarize his cheap talk, he lauded our gallant efforts of celebrating our dear old lady's birthday and asserted that we would be very lucky to be able to achieve a feat such as reaching one's 93rd birthday. Toward the end of the 'mass', the pastor asked the children to receive lola's blessings one by one, though in a not so orderly fashion. When our time came, I lazily went in front of my lola. The night was good until then, but all this suddenly changed when my mother asked lola if she still do recognize me. After trying to remember (may it be to the best of her ability or not), she gave a cold reply: "No." or something like that in Tagalog. I can't or choose not to remember anymore the exact words. The night was still good, but not as good as before she uttered those words. Even though I feel that I do deserve her poor memory for not going to her place as often as I could. Still, I can't take it lightly. It just made me think how I could have been devastated if the person who forgot me was part of my nuclear family. As the moon soared higher into the sky, the cotillion (some kind of dance for a lady's debut or 18th birthday) was presented. Before, I thought that I would be able to escape viewing my cousin Ranya's debut. Not quite. I was able to get a glimpse of it, partly through a purported request of lola for them to perform a repeat. Sigh. Before we left, I'd like to tell you of my mother's grand ability and for which I readily tell anybody that she is the best mommy. And what is this? It is her capability to bring home huge amounts of food, especially from a relative celebration of a memorable event. She had many clear plastic containers with her for the various food types she expected to be given. These include kare-kare, lumpiang shanghai, kalamay, spaghetti, chocolate, leche flan, etc. Would you imagine that?! Only the pastor reportedly got more, with a sample from every foodstuff that there was. And so we went home and as I do remember, we didn't tell anyone that we were leaving. We rode a jeepney to Baclaran. According to the driver's aide, the fare from our starting point to our destination was 16 pesos per person. My father gave her a 100-peso bill; we should have received a change of 52 pesos instead of 54 pesos. My parents did not correct the woman about the mistake. I, too. Tsk, tsk. Maybe it was a sheer case of laziness or my father thought of it as a form of senior citizen or student discount that we should have availed ourselves, which we didn't do. Probably, it's because also of that same dull dose of laziness. Humph. At Baclaran, we rode a taxi all the way to our house in Cubao, Quezon City. When we got home, Ate Nadia was allegedly sleeping but when the hour of Pinoy Big Brother came, we all witnessed Sam's visitor. Good day.

End: 12:34 A.M. of 7 November 2005

Almo's death

The newest addition to our cat family, Almuranas, more popularly known as Almo, died. My father claimed responsibility for his premature death. According to Papa, Almo died because of overeating. He fed him exorbitant amounts of the insides of fish. He didn't control Almo's voracious appetite. And so the young Almo went into hiding. Alas, it was already late when my father found him. Almo was hiding under a push cart, breathing his last few breaths. And so Almo died and my father included him to the garbage for that day. It was only recent that I learned that he died.

To all the cats (and kittens) that I have met in my brief life, I would have to say that Almo's face was the most angelic and human-like. I really wanted you to become my pet. And for the brief time that we shared together as friends, I would like to thank you for the joy and the inspiration you've given me. Your existence raised my respect for cats, at least in being themselves and as beings of the Creator.

Note: If you don't know, the kitten Almo had Almuranas, or we perceived him to have a condition analogous to it, to which we named him.

Load Dilemma

I currently have a load dilemma. Given the conflicts in schedule of courses offered in this coming second semester of the 2005-2006 academic year in UP Diliman, I can only have a maximum of 17 units composed of 3 major (Bio 101, 120, and 150) and 2 non-major subjects (PI 100 and possibly Math 2). My preenlistment results show that I was only able to get 10 units composed 3 subjects, namely, Bio 101, Bio 120, and PI 100. Thus, I would like to tell the possible scenarios of the next 5 months of my life, affecting my life in an uncertain way.
1. I get what I want, 17 units with the PI 100 and Math 2 in their respective schedules, 1:00-2:30 P.M. and 2:30-4:00 P.M. Happiness: 10!
2. 17 units but without Math 2. Another RGEP-MST replaces it. Happiness: 9!
3. 17 units but without any RGEP-MST subject. RGEP-Non-MST replaces it. RGEP-Non-MST will not be credited. Action done to prevent the repercussion of underload. Happiness: 8!
4. 14 units without any MST. Underload! Happiness: 7!
5. 14 units without PI 100. Slot in PI 100 cancelled to accommodate laboratory class in Bio 150. Happiness: 6!

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

Today, I was able to finish the GBA game Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. You may ask me, "Joel, why bother play a pathetic game?" I'd answer you: "Because I was able to relate somehow with Marche, the main character of the game." He was shy and aloof. In the real world, he was never able to assert himself towards other people. On the other hand, in the make-believe world, the circumstances made him become a stronger person and this, in turn, made me believe in myself. I was able to realize that I was fooling myself with my games and if, and only if, I want to achieve something tangible, then I would have to give up everything that was closer to the negative.