Grateful

"I joyfully accept whatever the future holds. I believe this is the way to live." -- Joel Duque

Actions

"We should have been more conscious of all of our actions if only we consider them as addictions." -- Joel Duque

Love and sacrifice

"Love is self-sacrifice without self-suffering." -- Joel Duque

Cookie jar

I am a spoiled brat
I do not have a high EQ
I do not know if I can wait
If you only knew
That I have been waiting
For all of my life
Then maybe
You would not test me more
I do not know what I can do
What I can handle
Test me at your own risk
It is both our gain and loss
To pass each other
To let this opportunity pass by
But this is for sure
I want my cookie now

Love and surrender

"Love is rarely a compulsion to act, but it is always an act of surrender. Love is not surrendering to defeat; it is surrendering to victory." -- Joel Duque

Katotohanan

"Sa katotohanan, ang mga lalaki ay likas na gago; ang mga babae ay likas na gaga." -- Joel Duque

Viscious cycle

"The vicious cyclicity of misfortune is a choice." -- Joel Duque

Who are we?

"What is the truth? Our realities are nothing but perceptions. We hardly genuinely know anything. Actually, we even do not know ourselves. We have amnesia of our past lives." -- Joel Duque

Virginity

"Virginity...you simply can not give up what you do not have." -- Joel Duque

Blasphemous

"The truth is blasphemous to the ignorant." -- Joel Duque

Ambivalence

"Ambivalence is almost always the best form of defense." -- Joel Duque

Be greedy

"Be greedy, be very greedy. But don't forget that the true One Self is not your ego." -- Joel Duque

Laspag

"Hindi sulit ang laspag." -- Joel Duque

Optimizations

"All optimizations are suboptimal." -- Joel Duque

Change

I think that woman changed me and I literally mean it. She is enough; she is definitely the one. If she'd blind me, I'll let her. Be it small blind or even big blind. I want to spend the rest of my life near her and be her best friend too. Now I know why your name is the Latin of blind. Thank you mother for egging me to go to medical school because it was there that I met her and everything began. I considered you to be my biggest fan. Now that you are not in this dimension anymore, I hope that you guide me through my dreams and fantasies. I love you and I love her. I really regret not hugging you as tight as possible when you were power hugging me. I miss you, I really do. It's a shame that I was not a diligent student while you were still alive but you still believed in me. You said that I would place 1st in the coming physician licensure examinations in August 2012. I resume being true to my promise that I would do so. I will do my best and my best will be sufficient all the way. Thank you.

On eating and dieting

"To eat is human, to diet is divine." -- Joel Duque

Utal

Sungit naman niya...Hindi tinanggap...Mahirap ang walang mataas...Binabaliwa...Hindi ikaw...Ang lahat...Dahil wala na...Kung ikaw nga...Mahal mo...Hindi...Ako bumibigay...Umaasa...Sulyap...Yakap

Aklat at asawa

"Ang mga aklat parang asawa, dapat ginagalaw!" -- Joel Duque

All is God

"WE ARE ALL GOD. ACCEPT IT OR ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE LOWER! HOW CAN GOD BE PERFECT WITHOUT YOU? IT IS JUST UNTHINKABLE!" -- Joel Duque

Fantasy

"We fantasize in order to make our dreams part of our reality. It's our principal creative power." -- Joel Duque

On cheating

"Cheating is meaningless if you cannot do the real thing." -- Joel Duque

I give up

I gave her up. The reason: Because doubtful. Haha. I give her up temporarily. I think this would be my best move for the next few weeks. I should believe myself.

Obsessed

She is
Origin: French
Meaning: God will Increase
+
Origin: Latin
Meaning: Blind
___
By the way, I am
Origin: Hebrew
Meaning: God is willing

Sulat ng pag-ibig blg. 1

ika-1 ng Setyembre, 2009

Mahal kong binibini,

Sana ay mahintay mo ako
Sapagkat sa kasalukuyan ay hindi pa ako handa
Upang magpakilala sa iyo
Kahit na matagal-tagal na ring nailibing ang aking ina
Dama ko pa rin ang kalungkutan
Hindi pa ako responsable para sa isang relasyon
Sa totoo, wala pa akong naging nobya
Ang aking mga grado sa medisina ay pasang-awa lamang
Ang iba pa ay bagsak
Kaya nga ngayon ay mag-aaral na ako
Ng tungkol sa leeg at ulo ng tao
Iisipin ko na lang yung sa iyo upang ganahan ako
Seryoso ako
Hanggang dito na muna

Nagmamahal,
Joel

Crush

Crush ko talaga yung taga-section B. Hope this goes well with me. Balak ko siyang "gamiting" dahilan para mag-aral ng mabuti. Haha. Magtatsaa na nga ako. Hindi ko yata kakayanin ang med school kung wala.

What happened in school today:

• Back to school from a 3-day break, extended because of national heroes day.
• I was late in Surgery lecture class. I missed the 1st lecture but attended the 2nd one.
• My classmate told me I looked better than usual. I told her that I had a full sleep. Maybe it was a big factor.
  
• There was no Obstetrics preceptorial class today (only for my precep class under Dr. Quillamor).
• I brought my laptop to school in case I needed to rush my med paper. Good thing we also did not have our med precep class under Dr. Jimenez.
• I will be busy because of the upcoming Research paper and presentation.

Number games

"All games even most non-games with numbers promote the myth of scarcity." -- Joel Duque

Blinded

"If you fixate yourself to that one entity, you run the risk of blinding yourself to the rest of what the world has to offer." -- Joel Duque

Playfish Restaurant City Level, Gourmet Points, and Cash Rewards

Level Gourmet Points Reward
1 50 2000 Cash

2 70 3rd Employee and 300 Cash

3 100 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

4 200 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

5 500 4th Employee and 300 Cash

6 1,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

7 2,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

8 4,000 5th Employee and 300 Cash

9 6,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

10 8,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

11 10,000 6th Employee and 300 Cash

12 14,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

13 18,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

14 22,000 7th Employee and 300 Cash

15 30,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

16 38,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

17 46,000 8th Employee and 300 Cash

18 58,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

19 70,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

20 86,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

21 102,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

22 122,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

23 142,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

24 166,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

25 190,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

26 218,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

27 246,000 Larger Restaurant and 300 Cash

Words hurt

Yeah, words can really hurt people. Today, I made a mistake at choosing an answer in my neurology preceptorial class. It was just mentioned a few minutes earlier. I was really concentrated on the discussion but I guess somehow her blurting out one of the choices which was central paralysis made me consider it strongly. Nevertheless, our instructor asked my two female classmates to teach me probably so I would not commit the mistake again. In surgery class today, one of the two lady classmates approached me and rudely told me that she would not teach me, ask me to lie to our teacher that the former taught me accordingly, and she even had the guts to threaten me if I told our instructor otherwise (or the truth). Come on people, what's wrong with you? Do I deserve that kind of treatment. I am a conscious feeling human being after all. And so I was depressed until dismissal time. As I walked home and reached home, I ate and fully decided to exercise or walk-jog on Camp Crame grandstand. I really felt good today, after a long time that I ceased to exercise. Also, I promised to myself that I'll start and resume exercising once the 5th long examination week in medical school was over which ended Friday last week. I should really think well before blurting out an answer especially if it was new to my mind. Also, maybe that girl was not mature enough to take on the responsibility and challenge given to her by our instructor. Maybe she is not competent enough. Or maybe she feels that I am or my learning is not worth her effort; it could be that she took the opportunity that she is not interested in me. But I really think that this could be me trying to connect dots which are very far apart. I won't judge her but try to understand her as one of the personalities in me that I should accept for me to act appropriately and become a more ethical, caring, and compassionate medical professional.

Medicine physical examination

Today, I performed a physical examination on my patient who had a stroke more than 1 year ago. She is much better today but can't go home until she settles her bills. Anyway, as for my part in our report to our preceptor, all I can say about our patient is that she is healthy with respect to the Head, Eyes, Ears, Nose and Throat. She and her husband was really cooperative throughout the interview. I discovered that I generally prefer spending quality time with the patient than working in large groups. Patients seem to be more easily handled when you get to talk to them personally than just observing other people perform the interviews and physical examinations. In addition, I also discovered that the better the health of the patient, the easier it is to perform the tasks of an examiner. So, doctors are advised to be more patient to patients with more advanced illnesses. Next patients are like her. They will be cooperative, communicable, in the mood, well-rested, and in the recovery phase if not in complete good health. They won't have any problem with finances.

On my way home, I thought of a relationship between my mother and the society. My mother has diabetes and chronic liver failure. Our society has diabetes, not cancer as Jose Rizal, the current Philippine national hero, previously said. In diabetes mellitus, the body is a state of abundance but the tissues are deprived of it. In the society, the world has a technological level which is capable of feeding adequately a world population size of 12 times its current population. Unfortunately, it is unable to feed 1/12th the size of such population or the current population itself. The problem is deeply-rooted to the misplaced priorities, dreams, and aspirations of the people which is reflected in the unstable economic systems of globalization and capitalism. Everything has been made for sale whether or not they are practical or not. Fake money has been produced and the masses are made to believe that it will solve all of their problems. Well, it might indeed solve most of their problems but it would most likely spawn new ones. It can be alikened to the practice of allopathic medicine which treats the symptopms and does not really cure the patient. There are 2 types of patients: the sick and the healthy patient. The sick patient is bound to his hospital bed or at least to his disease condition. He is not free. On the other hand, the healthy patient comes to a physician for chrckup or to maintain his well-being. He is free in many aspects including the freedom from most of exorbitant medical fees; he thinks clearly and is more or less the captain of his ship.

School on Sunday

Today, I went to school. I reviewed gross and histology specimens for our 2nd Pathology practical examination which is scheduled next Thursday, January 22, 2009. The review session was scheduled for the entire day or from 8 A.M. to 5 P.M. I arrived at UERM at about 10 A.M. I then interviewed the mother of our pediatrics patient. I asked for details missed during the first interview. It was a good thing that the mother was very cooperative and kind. Though it is sad that patients can be already well but unable to leave the hospital just because they have haven't completely settled their hospital dues. For one, hospitals can have more resistant strains of microorganisms. I feel good that the day in general went well. I was late. Yes. I believe that I just need to feel the need for being love manifest so as to genuine and concerned with the welfare of the patients and the health of people in general. I uninstalled Warcraft 3 and Counter-Strike, the 2 games to which I was just recently addicted too. Those games will not be installed before the school year ends. My family is worried about my health. I am a raw vegan foodist. I hope I can show them that I am living my life the best way I know I could. Yes, I do want to have a muscular body. I really know that it is indeed important. There is really no excuse for not doing so. And so, I do not plan to make any. Before I go to school today, I shall have performed a complete physical examination of my father regarding his head, eyes, ears, neck, and throat.