Tulog

Tulog, gusto kong matulog
Dahil binago na ha ha
Toot (2x)
Nababalisa ako
Hindi alam ang gagawin
Haay, naaantok na ako
May gumagalaw ng mga porselana
Ano ba iyon?
Dadadadaga o
Pupupupusa
Ansarap matulog sa madaling-araw
na tulad nito
Okey, tahimik
Maging ang aking pagsusulat
gamit ng aking lapis ay
naririnig ko
Ohhh
*Buntong-hininga* (2x)
Pagkatapos ng pag-uusisa
Siya nga naman o kay sarap
matulog
Kahit na ang kamay na kalog
Masarap pa ring matulog
Mahapdi na ang aking mga mata
Lalong masarap matulog
*Hinga* (2x)
Kaya nga ako
Bumibigay na
O, sige na nga
Matutulog na ako
Nawa'y ito'y maging
sa tamang oras
Sarap ha
*Malalim na hinga*

Tapos: 12:52 N.U.

Lola's failing memory

Yesterday, we went to Bayanan, Bacoor, Cavite, the place of most of my mother's youth, to celebrate the 93rd Birthday of Lola Kikay. Unfortunately, Ate Nadia wasn't able to come with us since she had two exams on that day. At first, I didn't want to come along, reasoning out that my relative in Cavite wouldn't be able to notice my absence and that I have no friends or buddies there. But my mother didn't give up on me and countered I do indeed get their attention for not being there and that Lola will not live long enough for another birthday celebration. And so, I gave in to my dear mother's request. We readied ourselves for departure. We left the apartment at around 4:18 in the afternoon in the middle of alternating rain and mild drizzles. My father went to another street, probably to Boni Serrano (formerly Santolan) Avenue to greatly increase the probability of our being able to get a taxi immediately. After being caught up in numerous traffic jams and making another wise bad decision of rerouting (changing route or way), we finally reached our destination, the house of my grandparents in Cavite. At about 6:15 P.M., Papa paid the taxi driver a whopping and may I comment, an undeserved 400 pesos. Not contented with their generosity, my parents offered the taxi cab Nixy's driver to eat at the place, which offered food, buffet-style. We ate to our hearts' content. My mother reminded me of my foolish saying, "Food equals happiness." During the merrymaking, my father asked me to take the blessing of my older relatives there. Of the five people Papa told me to get blessings from, I only managed to get the blessings of Aunt Mila, Lola Kikay, and Uncle Mario. I failed to get the blessings of others, including Aunts Ester and Rita. Maybe the situation was awkward or I just felt I didn't want to be blessed, or both. And so some of my time there was alone was spent on reflecting about the necessity, significance, and logic of receiving older people's blessings. No doubt, I should be looking into this whenever time does permit me to do so. going back to the event, after the pastor arrived and got himself ready for the mass or what my mother more appropriately called a *she, herself forgot the term here*, ceremony began. It was what I called a mass of goodwill for one's birthday. We listened to the bible reading. It told us that it is we who form Jesus. We are parts with different functions; we are equally important. We live and function in different ways but for one end. Whatever that end may be, it is we who decide. Then the pastor gave out a mediocre sermon to which my mother commented that the pastor wasn't fully prepared. To summarize his cheap talk, he lauded our gallant efforts of celebrating our dear old lady's birthday and asserted that we would be very lucky to be able to achieve a feat such as reaching one's 93rd birthday. Toward the end of the 'mass', the pastor asked the children to receive lola's blessings one by one, though in a not so orderly fashion. When our time came, I lazily went in front of my lola. The night was good until then, but all this suddenly changed when my mother asked lola if she still do recognize me. After trying to remember (may it be to the best of her ability or not), she gave a cold reply: "No." or something like that in Tagalog. I can't or choose not to remember anymore the exact words. The night was still good, but not as good as before she uttered those words. Even though I feel that I do deserve her poor memory for not going to her place as often as I could. Still, I can't take it lightly. It just made me think how I could have been devastated if the person who forgot me was part of my nuclear family. As the moon soared higher into the sky, the cotillion (some kind of dance for a lady's debut or 18th birthday) was presented. Before, I thought that I would be able to escape viewing my cousin Ranya's debut. Not quite. I was able to get a glimpse of it, partly through a purported request of lola for them to perform a repeat. Sigh. Before we left, I'd like to tell you of my mother's grand ability and for which I readily tell anybody that she is the best mommy. And what is this? It is her capability to bring home huge amounts of food, especially from a relative celebration of a memorable event. She had many clear plastic containers with her for the various food types she expected to be given. These include kare-kare, lumpiang shanghai, kalamay, spaghetti, chocolate, leche flan, etc. Would you imagine that?! Only the pastor reportedly got more, with a sample from every foodstuff that there was. And so we went home and as I do remember, we didn't tell anyone that we were leaving. We rode a jeepney to Baclaran. According to the driver's aide, the fare from our starting point to our destination was 16 pesos per person. My father gave her a 100-peso bill; we should have received a change of 52 pesos instead of 54 pesos. My parents did not correct the woman about the mistake. I, too. Tsk, tsk. Maybe it was a sheer case of laziness or my father thought of it as a form of senior citizen or student discount that we should have availed ourselves, which we didn't do. Probably, it's because also of that same dull dose of laziness. Humph. At Baclaran, we rode a taxi all the way to our house in Cubao, Quezon City. When we got home, Ate Nadia was allegedly sleeping but when the hour of Pinoy Big Brother came, we all witnessed Sam's visitor. Good day.

End: 12:34 A.M. of 7 November 2005

Almo's death

The newest addition to our cat family, Almuranas, more popularly known as Almo, died. My father claimed responsibility for his premature death. According to Papa, Almo died because of overeating. He fed him exorbitant amounts of the insides of fish. He didn't control Almo's voracious appetite. And so the young Almo went into hiding. Alas, it was already late when my father found him. Almo was hiding under a push cart, breathing his last few breaths. And so Almo died and my father included him to the garbage for that day. It was only recent that I learned that he died.

To all the cats (and kittens) that I have met in my brief life, I would have to say that Almo's face was the most angelic and human-like. I really wanted you to become my pet. And for the brief time that we shared together as friends, I would like to thank you for the joy and the inspiration you've given me. Your existence raised my respect for cats, at least in being themselves and as beings of the Creator.

Note: If you don't know, the kitten Almo had Almuranas, or we perceived him to have a condition analogous to it, to which we named him.

Load Dilemma

I currently have a load dilemma. Given the conflicts in schedule of courses offered in this coming second semester of the 2005-2006 academic year in UP Diliman, I can only have a maximum of 17 units composed of 3 major (Bio 101, 120, and 150) and 2 non-major subjects (PI 100 and possibly Math 2). My preenlistment results show that I was only able to get 10 units composed 3 subjects, namely, Bio 101, Bio 120, and PI 100. Thus, I would like to tell the possible scenarios of the next 5 months of my life, affecting my life in an uncertain way.
1. I get what I want, 17 units with the PI 100 and Math 2 in their respective schedules, 1:00-2:30 P.M. and 2:30-4:00 P.M. Happiness: 10!
2. 17 units but without Math 2. Another RGEP-MST replaces it. Happiness: 9!
3. 17 units but without any RGEP-MST subject. RGEP-Non-MST replaces it. RGEP-Non-MST will not be credited. Action done to prevent the repercussion of underload. Happiness: 8!
4. 14 units without any MST. Underload! Happiness: 7!
5. 14 units without PI 100. Slot in PI 100 cancelled to accommodate laboratory class in Bio 150. Happiness: 6!

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

Today, I was able to finish the GBA game Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. You may ask me, "Joel, why bother play a pathetic game?" I'd answer you: "Because I was able to relate somehow with Marche, the main character of the game." He was shy and aloof. In the real world, he was never able to assert himself towards other people. On the other hand, in the make-believe world, the circumstances made him become a stronger person and this, in turn, made me believe in myself. I was able to realize that I was fooling myself with my games and if, and only if, I want to achieve something tangible, then I would have to give up everything that was closer to the negative.