Post-Holy Week Reflection

It has really been a bad observation of the holiday for me. I didn't go to mass. I didn't go to retreats. I just satisfied myself with playing the computer the whole day. I didn't even bother to do my assignments in class. What a grand waste of time. That's the perfect description of the event. And so, I passed my answers to the Biology 180 - Problem Set 3 late. I submitted it today. Bye-bye, 5 points! Anyway, I would like to react to the topic posted in one of my Yahoo! Groups. It's about game theory. How it is related to Russell Crowe's movie, A Beautiful Mind. About how the guys chose ugly girls over pretty woman. They disliked taking risks. It reminds me of a person who's always afraid of taking risks. Who else? None other but I. My deep insecurities. Of why I am not born to a rich family. Of my guilt regarding my worldly desires. Of my procrastinations. Of not being able to do my best always. My insecurities about people who are more intelligent than me. Of feeling that I am not deserving to be a part of the organization in school, UP Pre-Medical Honor Society. Random thoughts. Destructive tendencies. Suicide? Nah! But I truly want to get them out of my system. I know that it's going to be slow, so slow. Every inch of it will inevitably pain me. But, as it is often said, nothing can be achieved without sacrifices. This is why I am here--ready to face the odds, to make my stand against my enemies. Sanity must come back to Joel. And it must come soon enough.