Not love

A long, long time ago
I said I love you
And meant it
This time
I can't say it anymore
And couldn't mean it anymore
Don't know what made me
Say such words
Now, I know
It wasn't love

Looking back
This makes it
Easier for me
To accept myself
For wasting the chance
Allowed it to pass by
Without me grabbing it

Yes, you've moved on
And to you, I was just
An unpleasant memory
At this moment
I could claim the same
You may have been comely
But I have matured
Outside form isn't
The only thing that matters
Although it sure does
For, most often than not
A stare lasting
One split second is all it takes
To become enamored
This applies to both gents and ladies

Your looks were above average
I judged you by a single parameter
Nothing more
And now, I am enlightened
Good criteria are
composed of many factors
This is the rule

Today, I regret
That we didn't reconcile
You neither become my friend
Nor a personal acquaintance
I've tried hard enough
Not to think of you
But I love myself
So much so that I don't want to
Restrain myself
From expressing my innermost feelings
This weblog has no specific purpose
Only a general one:
To fulfill my need
To express myself
An act I have long restrained
From doing
Since my elementary and high school days
Including college

I have mixed emotions of you
Although my mind tells me
I should only have one:
Hatred
Your rejection of me
Caused great anguish
A feeling that any man
In his right frame of mind
And who isn't a masochist
Would surely avoid
Everybody desires to belong
I desired to belong to you
I guess it isn't wise
To use passion all the way
A path I almost resorted to

I am neither good nor bad
Only human
What matters to me is success
Evolutionarily and biologically
An organism is successful
If he reproduces
And passes his genetic material
To his offspring

Sex appeal is what
Makes the world go round
I'd like to believe
In part
I can defend this stand
Do you know physical attraction?
I'm sure you do
The raging emotion
Manifesting it
Caused by hormones in your body

For good or bad
You can't control it
All was triggered by
The selfish DNA
You and all humans have
You have
Or say the least had
Sex appeal
And if you had it
You couldn't and shouldn't
Blame people for getting
Attracted to you

There are varied
Positive reactions
To this such as
Admiration
Attraction
Obsession
You could say
I had all those feelings
Towards you

However
Beauty causes feelings
Other than those aforementioned
Which are considered good
Because I felt
Jealousy
Anger
Hatred
Animosity

Animosity
For you