Thinking of you and me

I am just but a footnote to your story
I have never taken the chance
I have never left my comfort zone
All I have done is to work from the shadows
I do not know why I keep on pretending
I live each day of my life as if everything is great
When in fact nothing makes sense anymore
Why have I borne much pain?
For sure, I do not enjoy my sadness
Is my sorrow my way of reason?
Of false views?
If I am to endure this apathy, until when?
If this is not forever, then when is the end?
Certainly, my patience is not reliable
It is short
I am easy to get angry
To get discouraged
Life's meaning has long left me
Ever since the day I do not remember when
Does it matter?
Does my story matter to you?
For one, I do not think I am your friend
We are not close
Thus, we are also not open to one another
It is not the case that one of us confided to the other
Why do I fall back to the recesses of my failures
I do not have laurels on which I can rest on
On which I may fall back
So when I fall, I fall great depths and fall badly
Why do I act as if I am a god
When I am even lower than an angel?
Surely I have my insecurities
Which I do not think I'll ever supersede
Because of my misplaced priorities
I do not think much of what matters
But I think very well of things which are trivial
So it may well be because of my poor decision-making
Is this due to my not-so-fortunate yet not-so-unfortunate status?
Maybe
But why am I ashamed of my poverty?
Is wealth limited to what is material?
Are immaterial entities really unimportant?
Why have I allowed myself to become so corrupted
As to let myself be lost?
Why does it seem that evil comforts better than good?
Why does everything seem to fall apart, almost?
Maybe I have lost my heart
Maybe I demoted it to being a circulatory organ, nothing more
And does playing games soothe me?
No, yes but temporarily
A problem cannot and will not be solved by indirect solutions
Just as placebo effect does not work
Where does faith come in?
Can it be conveniently tucked in and be called upon only in times of need?
What has become of me?
Is this one of ill effects of living in the modern times?
I think that is trade-off is not beneficial at all
It may be better to forgo the advances for the sake of virtuous values
It is true that we fix our eyes upon things which really do not matter
Are we this pitiful?
Yes, we are all indeed victims of this
We do all suffer

[Seme(n)]str(u)al Break Week 1

So what has kept the great Joel busy this past few days? Nothing much. I have tried to spend my time on things which are most worthless. I played Warcraft 3's Defense of the Ancients (DotA) map and Counterstrike 1.6. Also, learned how to download YouTube videos.

Downloading YouTube videos
First, I searched the internet to look for the downloader. I tried three things, and here they are, arranged from okay to the best: kissyoutube.com (online), youtubedownloader (offline download), and the built-in YouTube function of the good old Free Download Manager (offline download too). So why was I interested in getting videos to my hard drive? Like what I read in a fraternity (I am not a member of any fraternity, brotherhood or whatever you may want to call it), newsletter (blue-colored paper) which I saw in UERMMMC library, something guys understand but may deny and girls will never understand: the propensity of pornography.

I'll try to justify my craving for such evil stuff. You see, I have no experience (as in zero) with respect to sex. Thus, I need to study it. And it seems that there is no better, nobler way to learn more about it than to watch and observe.

Learning Issues
There are several good things that I learned: First, do not search YouTube for porn! There are many people who posts things which are of little relevance especially when it comes to search terms like: pinoy, sex, scandal, xxx, etc., and other terminologies deemed as horny as well. Second, when you make anything a habit, it becomes second nature to you.

Form a (virtuous) habit today
This philosophy can be applied to almost all aspects of life, including virtues like faith and excellence. I want to tell you why I will never join a fraternity. I do not believe in people getting together because of nothing at all. People should associate if and only if there is a concrete purpose beforehand.

Common purpose: the Philippine example
I think that this can be related to the problem to Philippine society, nationationhood, and identity. What is the Filipino? The Filipino is a native inhabitant of the Philippines or has an origin traceable to the islands. The Philippines is a country which was named after a king of Spain, the country which occupied it for about three hundred thirty-three years. My point is that we came together because an oppression which was common. But I see that common oppression or exploitation is not enough to solidly bind us. Inter ethnic marriages are not enough. Our local ties are much tighter than the artificial national bond. The oppression has not stopped.

Ills of a good thing: Globalization
And with the advent of globalization, it looks as if they are here to stay. If the having idea that globalization is unstoppable is that of a pessimist, I guess that I am one. Globalization is good in its purest form but I believe that in reality that it is otherwise. The rich countries would definitely want to cash in, to the demise or expense of the poor countries. Beyond the economic implications of such a policy, I see a power struggle. It's a stuggle between the right to life of poor countries and the extravagance of life of rich countries. Why do I say this? Because the industries of the poor countries would die out with the entry of globalization. On the other hand, the characteristic resource-monger citizens of the rich countries would become hungry (something that failed to happen since I estimate the Great Depression).


The promise
I promise to live a semi-decent life starting now.
- Take a bath everyday.
- Study for at least six hours everyday.
- Exercise for one hour a day.
- Triple my confidence each day.

Successful self

Today, I am making a pact of brotherhood with my successful self. Hope it goes well!

Greetings!

Thanks to the following people:

Text:
1. Papa
2. Ate Nadia*
3. Rian B. (+ Kamille T.)
4. Ivan I.
5. Hedwig M.
6. Faidz D.
7. Ate Bec
8. "Uncle Me"
9. Tish ?
10. Lee Roi B.
11. Lance D.
12. Chuck N.
13. Grace Ann T. (+ "M@")
14. Prim L.
15. Auntie Mina (+ Uncle Urong, Anong, Iyang, Tintin, Family)
16. Paolo B.
17. Marlowe P.
18. 09175456789
19. Geri C.
20. Nadine B.
21. 09062092866
22. Chard Lim

Talk
1. Mama
2. Wyndsor M.

Child pornography

My heart bleeds for exploited children. Oh, they're just too young to suffer. What will happen to their childhood?
Yes, they do look good. But did they really have the choice? Because I'm sure, one way or another, they were forced to surrender and do such suggestive modeling. When the industry is large, the bad guys necessarily gravitate towards engaging in it. I hope the world could change with only a single snap of my fingers. Unfortunately, it's just a dream of mine. Nothing will suffice. It's either I work now and prove that I am worthy. If not done wholeheartedly, then the jobs better not doing at all. I had all the opportunity and I am not backing out. Yes, I should use the computer only 30 minutes maximum per day.
Lessons learned from 1 GB Kingston DDR400 RAM:
1. If not used, then it's a waste.
2. Think twice, thrice, just to make sure.
3. Even if you burned it, it may still work. There's hope.

My Birthday

Yes. Birthday ko po ngayon! Happy birthday, Joel. I am just so happy. Finally, I have resolved all of my deepest, innermost issues with myself. Finally, I can reach the place I have long deserved, what was and still is rightfully mine. Simulan natin sa paaralan. Sa wakas, isa na akong mature person.

One

"1 + 99 = 100. 99 becomes 00 but 1 remains as 1. 99 is ephemeral but 1 is eternal. 1 endures time to reach forever. Forever is infinity. Paradoxically, 1 (which is the same as unity) has the potential to achieve greatness. Nevertheless, both 1 and 99 are important." -- Joel Duque

Top 3

Yahoo! Sa wakas, nagtop din ako sa isang exam. Top 3 ako sa section namin sa Disease Prevention and Control. Initially, nakakuha ako ng 48/60. It could go up up to 51/60! This will definitely serve as my beacon for all of the coming examinations, at least this entire first semester. At siya nga pala, pinapangako kong magseseryoso na ako. Hindi kami mariwasa at kung gayo'y wala akong karapatang umasta na isa akong rich kid. Isa pa, hindi na ako magiging tao na siyang hinahayaang magpakalango sa denial at isolation. Mga 12 years ko na iyon ginawa at walang magandang naidulot sa akin. Kaugnay nito, inaamin kong:

Nagsisi akong sa pagkakamali ko sa desisyon kong piliin ang UERMMMC over UST med. Kala ko kasi pareho lang sila. Well, yung learning style ko pala ay hindi akma sa teaching style sa UE. Nakalulungkot lang. Kasi kung iisiping mabuti, since first year college ko pa inasam na mag-aral muli sa isang paaralang nag-iispoonfeed sa mga estudyante nito. (Nag-aral akong ng high school sa La Salle Greenhills.) Ito ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit ako tinamad sa UP Diliman (BS Biology ang course ko). Tinamad nga pala ako kasi andami naming sinasayang na oras sa mga laboratoryo. At dahil tinamad nga ako, wala ako ni anumang laude pagtapos ko ng kolehiyo. Ito ay tuligsa sa huling taon ko sa LSGH kung saan humigit-kumulang 9 awards ang nakuha ko. Ang tanga ko at nakumbinsi ako ng dating dean na mag-aral sa UERM. Nakaiinis dahil hindi na siya ang dean ngayon. Sinabi niya sa akin na inaalagaan niya yung mga nag-aral sa school nila na pumasok bilang Special Honors Awardees (high NMAT and/or college grades). Wrongfully ko namang inassume na aalagan niya ako/kaming mga SHA's tulad ng ginawa niya sa mga nauna sa aming batch. Paano niya kami aalagaan kung hindi na siya yung dean? Anlabo, sobrang labo po, Dr. Georgina Paredes. Promise kong lilipat ako sa PGH next year as second year medicine-proper student.

Kaya ako magmemed dahil sa aking ina. Frustrated doctor siya. Hindi siya tinanggap ng UST kasi magsasaka ang ama niya (lolo ko, sumalangit nawa siya). Isa rin 'to sa mga dahilan kung bakit isinantabi/binasura ko ang UST med. (Siya nga pala, hindi ako nag-aplay sa UST ng BS Bio kasi hindi naman mukhang application form yung papel nila, at least noon--simple at medyo manipis na half bond paper. Kala ko joke lang, yun na pala iyon, haha.) Well, hindi naman masama o mali yung dahilan ko. Ang importante naman sa anumang dahilan ay yung motivation na kinoconfer nito sa isang indibidwal. Dapat lang ay sobrang lakas ng motibasyon upang ang isang tao ay makagawa ng mga bagay na kagila-gilalas o exceptional. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako kumportable na magpadikta sa ina ko ng mga gawain ko sa buhay. Siya nga pala ang nagsuggest na BS Bio ang kunin kong kurso sa UP Diliman, so noon pa man ay may balak na siya ako ay maging isang doktor. Sabi niya ay childhood dream ko raw iyon. (Baka rin sobrang siyang magsuggest/mag-influence.) Pero nung huling taon ko na sa high school, parehong panahon kung saan kailangan na akong mamili ng kursong kukunin sa college, ang next step sa buhay na maganda at akademiko, gusto ko talaga ng BS Economics. Pero noong sinabi kong Econ ay sinabi niyang "Mag-eecon ka?" na tila may kasamang giit ng pananakot, hindi ko pinaglaban yung gusto ko. Nanahimik na lang ako at pumayag na BS Bio yung undergrad ko. Medyo naulit ito nung oras na upang kumuha ng NMAT.

So, sa kabila ng lahat, bakit parang okey lang sa akin na ipaubaya sa nanay ko yung career path ko? Sa may org ako nung college, ang UP PMHS. Sumali ako para lang magkaorg ako, kasi sabi ng ate at tatay ko na maganda iyon para sa personal development ko. Kinuha ko siya over UP ABM kasi mas una yung orientation at nagalingan ako kay Ate Dzhot (parte ng Mem Comm noong panahong nag-aplay at natanggap ako sa kanilang samahan) kasi sa hindi malamang dahilan ay alam niya yung pangalan ko at sinulat sa envelop yung pangalan ko. Baka nabasa niya sa contacts form yung name ko. Anyway, okay yung brochure nila. Isa sa mga kasinungalingan nga lang na tumatak sa aking isipan ay ito: "Okay mag-aral sa tambayan ng org." Sa totoo, hindi ito totoo. Siguro okay lang kung mag-isa ka. Pero hindi na kung may kasama kang mga tao. Usually kasi maingay yung mga tao roon. Karamihan ay makwento kasi. Hindi pa naman ganoon yung personality ko kaya hindi ako tuwirang nagjive with the org. So sad. Siguro dahil na rin sa mga insecurities ko na never kong naget over with especially the fact that most of the people in PMHS come from Philippine Science High School--Diliman. Sobrang tatalino ng mga tao roon, lalung-lalo na yung mga naadmit sa BS Biology curriculum. Magaling din ako, although never ko iyon napakita beyond the first sem of my first year in Diliman. Dahil sa low self-esteem ko dahil hindi ko kilala ang aking sarili, tignan niyo kung nasaan ako ngayon, sa UERM. Not to take anything away from UERM, but PGH and UST seem and should definietly be better medical schools. Sobrang naiinggit ako sa former classmates kong doon nag-aaral sa PGH. Gusto ko talagang mag-aral doon kasi the school is much more prestigious than all the rest.

So what motivates me to become the best endocrinologist in the world and the board topnotcher in the Philippine Physician Licensure Examinations in August 2012 with respect with my mother? My mother is a diabetic. Diabetis complicates other diseases; she is now greatly reduced in health. She cannot enjoy most things and life in general because of her disease. Many of her body organs and tissues are hit by the disease. If only there was some doctor who maintained a healthy lifestyle in my mother, then my early adolescence would have been much better. The onset could have been prevented. Dahil sa aming magkapatid, tila napabayaan na ng aking ina ang sarili niyang kalusugan. Mahalagang huwag pabayaan ninuman ang kanyang sarili, lalo na ang sariling kalusugan para sa mga anak. Kawawa talaga nanay ko sa akin, ansama ng attitude ko sa kanya at times na galit or frustated ako. Promise ko na aayusin ko na yung pakikitungo ko sa kanya. Never ko na siya sisigawan or pagtataasan ng boses. In short, siya yung gagawin kong test patient sa aspeto ng tama at nararapat na pakikitungo sa mga pasyente. Bukod sa nanay ko, gusto ko ring maging doktor dahil ito ay isa o ang tanging propesyon na maaari kang kumita ng malaki habang nagbibigay ng serbisyo sa iyong kapwa.

Pagtapos ko ng med at magtop one sa med boards, mag-eespecialize ako tapos mag-uUS na ako. Kung ako lang, kung wala akong balak mag-asawa, magkaanak at magkapamilya pababa, hindi ko na gugustuhing mangibambansa. Pero gusto kong maibigay sa mga magiging mga anak ko ang pagkakataong makapamili sa lahat (o halos lahat ng opportunities) sa buhay. Gusto ko rin na maging mga Scripps spelling champion sila. Nakakainggit yung mag-asawang na dating Indian at ngayo'y presumably mga full-fledged Americans na. Sila kasi ay may anak na nakasecond place sa contest noong 2005. Mas madaling mabuhay sa ibang bansa kasi andami-daming mga lintang umuubos sa dugo ng bansa namin. At yung mga magagaling nating mga kababayan ay umaalis at hindi na bumabalik kahit na o dahil maganda na ang buhay nila sa ibang bansa. Hindi effective yung mga drama ng mga tulad ni Mikaela Irene Fudolig na sa kabila ng katalinuhan ay piniling manatili sa Pilipinas upang magturo sa UP Diliman, isang (at ang premier) state university ng bansa. So interesting na subukan yung drama kung saan iba yung istorya. After all, gagawin ko yung matagal na gustong gawin ng medical professionals ng ating bansa, kung sakaling sila ay mabigyan ng pagkakataon, kung sana lamang ay naging topnotcher sila na tulad ko (na magiging topnotcher sa August 2012).

Dissecting set

Nakakainis po. Kasi naman, mayroong nagdekwat ng lahat ng dissecting tools ko. Kinuha niya lahat, maliban sa isa. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya, "Salamat ha, nagtira ka pa!" Syempre, iyon ay may kahalong sarcasm. Hindi pa nga kami doktor e may ganyang mga tao na sa aking paligid. Just imagine, classmate/s ko siya/sila. Kung hindi ka honest, at least make sure na honest ka sa peers or future colleagues mo, 'di ba? Hindi sa minamaliit ko yung halaga ng dissecting kit ko. Four hundred twenty pesos din 'yon. Pero, pinagpalit ng kumuha sa tools ko yung integrity niya sa P400. Ang cheap niya. Obvious talagang masama ang loob ko. In fact, galit ako. Kasi naman, inaassume kong higit na mayayaman yung classmates ko sa med school kaysa sa akin. Tapos, dahil sa pagkakataon, isang mahirap na tulad ko yung agagawan niya ng mga gamit. I feel better after finishing this write-up.

Shot of inspiration

This, I needed badly. I was a good thing that I came tonight. That is, I came to my college org's (UP PMHS) acquaintance party, 2007. It was a time to reconnect the old ties. Also, on my way there (Balay Kalinaw, UP Diliman), ninamnam ko ang kaygandang tanawin, lalung-lalo na sa gawing University Avenue. Ansarap ng pakiramdam. Mukha namang walang nagbago sa mga kaBiobatchmates ko. Nakauniporme lang naman sila. Nagtaka nga ako at andaming mga first year BS Biology sa apps. Nakatutuwa. It would be good both for the org and for themselves. Remember the 50% Biology requirement for the Biology-based organizations? Its implementation was started last year. Siyempre, pati ugali nila pareho pa rin. Okey si Kuya JD. Kasi naman sa tuwing nagkikita kami ay pinupuna niyang hindi pa rin ako nagbabago, kahit na ito ay isang positibong kritisismo. Pangako ko, magbabago na ako at magtatop ako sa mga eksamen.

Act now

"Now I know, I choose to act." -- Joel Duque

Poverty

"Poverty is the lack of economic freedom which limits the quantity and quality of opportunities available to an individual. It is a vicious cycle which preys not only upon his fundamental rights but also on the person himself." -- Joel Duque

First month rants

Rants:
1. The scholarship was not given at once.
2. Crowding in groupings!: Too many people in groups
a. Ana Gross: 6 people in 1/2 cadaver (which is also shared with another subsection of the other section)
b. Ana Histo: just fine (3 students share a common table and slide box), but 2 would be much better; but still fine for 3 heads are better than 2
c. Biochem: 8 people in a group; too crowded, too little activity for a person if work is divided equally
d. Physio: 8 people in a group; too many, too little activity for a person if work is divided equally, poor sound system
3. Beautiful, handsome people :)
4. FSD spread what I told her. That I got a 99 PR in the NMAT. She told me that she only said it to one person. Then one guy classmate told me: "Joel, 99 ka sa NMAT?" I said: "Oo." He replied, "Yabang mo ha." I just can't understand. I don't even know if he was just joking.
5. Low grades, So far:
a. Ana: quizzes: 8/10, 8/10, 8/10, 1/10, 7/10, 8/10, 9/10, 3/10 = 52/80 = 65%
b. Biochem: quizzes: 5/5, 10/10 = 15/15 = 100%; experiment 1: 14/15 = 93.33%
c. Physio: 0/5, 3.5/5, 9/10, 0/10 = 41.67%
d. DPC quiz: 10/10 = 100%
6. Stress, making the right 'ingredients'

Medical uniform

I am excited for tomorrow for I'll be wearing my medical uniform for the first time in class. We are required to wear our uniform starting this coming first Monday of July, 2011. I will be more inspired to take on the challenges of medical school. So far, I have to admit that my lifestyle changed dramatically. I was looking for challenge and I must have met my match--medical school. I have to answer the why UERMMMC and W-H-Y questions of our college secretary, Grace H. Encelan-Brizuela, MD, MSPH.
1. Why did you choose to enroll in UERMMMC and not in any other school to pursue your dream of becoming a doctor?
a. Why not UP? I reached only until the interview.
b. Why not UST?
- not choosing UST was due to a lack information of that medical school
- UST medical students/alumni seem to have a certain swagger (attitude)
c. Why not PLM? My sister would die first before letting me take medical studies there.
d Why UERMMMC?
- it presented an alternative to UST
- I put UST and UERMMMC on equal footing
- it offered me a US$400 discount for the first semester of my first year (Special Honors Award)
- it was closer to home which means the least amount of adjustment for my family and me; I equated less adjustment with more chances of getting good grades; think of our cat pets in our home
- more lebensraum
- disprove the notion that UERMMMC is suboptimal; if I could top (first place) the Philippine Physician Licensure Examinations, then it would be for the good of my school and of myself
- better with the clinicals
- geared towards working in the United States
2. Why medicine?
- noble profession
- chance to earn big
- for my family: present and future
- seems challenging

PPS Day 1

I failed. I slept from 9 PM - 4 AM. I have to get better at control.

PPS commenced

Day 1, 1st 8 hours: Today, I started polyphasic sleeping at about 12:00 NN. This serves as a time marker. There would be a daily update.

Polyphasic sleep

I am really thinking about polyphasic sleeping. I want to ask for help from the physicians at my medical center. Hope it goes well. For one, I will be able to free up about at least 3 more hours per day with such a regimen. Just imagine, 20 more hours a week. It's almost a whole day! But honestly, I should try to maximize my own time before trying it out. Time management plainly may be enough for me.

Becoming

"Knowing is essential; becoming is the process; being is the end result. There is a big difference among these; becoming is the most challenging." -- Joel Duque

Law of Joel

Justice. The law of Joel is justice. It is against injustice. For one, Joel does not like people who overtake other people in lines. Overtaking people in lines is injustice. Thus, Joel becomes concentrated whenever such injustice occurs. Joel becomes assertive, hot-tempered at times, whenever such instance happens.

On a side but related note, I would like to share something. There are about 10 foreigners in our batch in medical school at UERMMMC. To judge a certain person as horny or whatever just by the way that person looks is inherently unfair. I mean, look at thyself first before, pointing and rejoicing at the apparent shortcomings of others. After all, nobody is perfect. And even if a certain person is really hedonistic, that does not mean that s/he will do poorly in medical school. I believe that their is no correlation of a person's point-of-view to his/her academic performance.

Elections 2007: My votes

At about 2 PM, I voted for the following:

Senators:
1. ARROYO, Joker P.
2. BAUTISTA, Martin D.
3. HONASAN, Gregorio B.
4. LACSON, Panfilo M.
5. MONTANO, Cesar M.
6. PANGILINAN, Francis N.
7. PAREDES, Zosimo Jesus II M.
8. PIMENTEL, Aquilino L.
9. RECTO, Ralph G.
10. SISON, Adrian O.
11. TRILLANES, Antonio IV F.
12. ZUBIRI, Juan Miguel F.

Party List: ALYANSANG BAYANIHAN NG MAGSASAKA, MANGGAGAWANG BUKID AT MANGINGISDA-ADHIKAIN AT KILUSAN NG ORDINARYONG TAO (ABA-AKO)

Mayor: ROSALES ANDY QUIÑONES
Vice Mayor: BAUTISTA ROBERTO BASCO
Congressman: PALACIOS ALBERT HANS CORVERA

Councilors:
1. BATTUNG LUCIANO BANGAN
2. MONTILLA NOEL LAO
3. DELFINADO EDGAR LIBO-ON
4. HIPOL BAYANI VILLAFRANCA
5. MALAÑGEN RESTITUTO BERNALES
6. MONTILLA ARMANDO F.
7. SUNTAY JESUS CABOCHAN
8. TIMTIMAN BONIFACIO JR. FERNANDEZ

It took me about 30 minutes to vote. (So I finished it by 2:30 PM). It took me such a long time since I wrote the full names of the candidates, except for the party-list. Also, I had a hard time deciding who the people I shall vote for the local positions. Truth struck me that in future elections, I should prepare my choices beforehand for all positions, not just national ones. And so I gave my folded ballot to the teacher-now election officer. As according to protocol, she placed a drop of 'indelible ink' on the base of the nail of my right index finger. She asked if it was my first time (to vote). I either nodded or said "Yes." or did both. I was irked when she remarked that I thought very hard for my vote. Walking away, I thought that everybody should really think well for their votes. Why not?

Suffrage: the right to suffer

Today, we Filipinos are given the chance to make a change. And this present opportunity is significant, if not great. Sadly, there is sufficient reason to believe that many people do not take the polls seriously. I have several assumptions for such supposition. First, people are shortsighted so as to see the far-reaching effects of their electoral decision. Second, they do not realize that when they allow incompetent people to achieve victory in the polls, they become guilty of burying alive themselves and their neighbors. Third, there is a sense of indifference--a lack of belief that the system would work. So instead of giving it a chance by casting their votes, they instead choose not to go out.

These problems should have solutions to them. Theorists say that reason separates man from the animals. Indeed, this is true. People should be adequately educated so that they may be able to go beyond their immediate needs and wants. It is only rightful that the voting population choose the skillful people, if not the ablest. According to Plato, philosophers must be kings. I view philosophers as enlightened men. Of all the beings, they are the few which see and discern reality from illusion. With this capacity, they should take lead and share the light to their lesser companions.

The context presented here has many similarities with the purported intellectual loss with the movement of the best minds out of the country. Those that look for greener pastures abroad rationalize that they do so for sufficient remuneration. I would like to believe otherwise. I think that greed and self-worth are underlying causes for working elsewhere. Although, greed is regarded as basically evil, it is responsible for the evolution and establishment of most institutions. Its noblest expression is low prices in healthy competition, which is to the benefit of the consumers or general public. For those who move out because of self-worth, a misplaced sense of self-worth supersedes authentic self-worth. As its name implies, it should be innate. As such, it is impervious from association with one's environment. If you know yourself and you accept its entirety, then you are ready to face the challenges time churns out to you.

The truth is our elders have fallen short. And their failure cannot go overlooked, since what they have overlooked all point to the foundations of the society. Charley Reese stated, "Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals." There is no other place in the world where this idea is truest than in the Philippines. This is partly due to our multinational characteristic. If our failure to achieve unity continues, then it may well serve our interests if we unite at dividing ourselves. This can be done by making our regional differences sharper. This is when we attain our identity--who we truly are. Unity does not necessitate the genetic manipulation to reach racial congruence. We will truly benefit when we do not have problems. Instead, they should be instead viewed as challenges, eagerly waiting for action. Likewise, we must turn our weaknesses into strengths. For example, cultural diversity should be accepted as it is. There should be proper acceptance and respect for others's beliefs.

A quick definition of suffrage is the right to vote. It is clearly stated as 'right to vote' and not 'right to suffer'. Cliché, but true: "There is already too much suffering in the world." For sure, we neither need nor want more of it. So in every election, most especially in sovereign states, vote the better (candidates) for the better (future). So long as you are a citizen, you have the right and duty to vote. I even like to suggest transforming voting from a right (suffrage) to a duty ("enjoyage", a term I am proposing here). Also I would like to propose the addition of educational requirement to all candidates, especially for the top positions of the nation. We have suffered long enough from allowing demagogy by wanton democracy. It is simply atrocious. I rest my case.

Cavite Fiesta

I went to Cavite today to accompany my mother for fiesta. The main reason I suppose we went there is to here the band or musiko play. Unfortunately, we weren't able to make it on time. By the time we reached the place (around 12:30 P.M.), the band was already gone. We rode a taxi all the way from Cubao. The fare was P250. My mother added P50 for compensation, in case the taxi driver wouldn't be able to find another passenger along the back to Metro Manila.

When we arrived (at my grandparents's place), we immediate ate on whatever my relatives had to offer. My mother offered the driver to eat with us. It took my uncle's convincing powers to finally get his approval. Food was plentiful; there were about five different viands.

After that, we to my cousin's (Kuya Lowe) place. It was rather large and I certainly felt the abundance. Since I was already full, I chose to focus on the 1.5-L Mountain Dew softdrink. My mother and I toured the house. Things which caught my attention were the large open space (which was designated as dining place for the fiesta in their house), the two cement tanks for the culture of tilapia (there were fingerlings), and the personal computer (which had Red Alert 2 installed on it). Also, it's safe to assume that it has a very fast internet connection.

We then went around the village or subdivision. On our way, we came across the way of some of my mother's relatives. One of which had a son who was successful with buy and sell operations. We came back to base camp. Most of our time was then spent in uncle Lucio's house which was nearby. We talked mostly about my aunt Mary, cousins (father side), aunt Mina, and uncle Urong. We ate snacks within the chatting. We then went to my cousin Kuya Jorge's place where we ate and took food as baon. We returned to base camp, ate some Moo ice cream. We waited for the parade or prusisyon. We watched it; aunt Ester was one of the participants.

My cousin Kuya Bryan drove us to Guadalupe, where we got a cab. The fare was P80.

Interview: mortal sins

"I learned from it--a lesson forever."

It's final. My UP dream is lost. It hurts. But what did the greatest damage is the financial burden my family will carry for the next 5 years. Let's summarize my short stint (application) at the UP:
1. GWA - not excellent
2. NMAT - excellent
3. Interview - terrible
a. I did not prepare for the interview! I was sure that it was inadequate.
b. I refused entertaining the idea of getting leakage of the interview questions from a batch mate. I know that this is not honorable so I did not ask for a copy. Even so, that could have greatly helped me prepare for the interview.
c. I was scheduled at 10 A.M. but the actual interview started at around 2 P.M. This could have affected my physiology and answers. I slept late the other night trying to prepare for questions which were rather general.
d. Some of my answers were inadequate, not from the heart.
i. I could not justify my reasons for being just a normal student as an undergraduate student. I was afraid of showing my weaknesses to them. I was tired of defending myself.
ii. I lied by saying that some situations never occurred to me. Things were just too personal for me to divulge the information they needed even if I understand that everything was part of the interview. It may also be a case that I was tired of speaking English and wanted to end things as soon as possible.
e. I insisted on speaking using English even if I could have expressed myself better with Tagalog. I did so even if in the start the interviewers told me that I could speak in Tagalog. ( I just had to have the guts to ask such favor from them.)
f. After the interview, they noted that I was too tense. This was a sign that during the interview, I already noticed that things were not going well. Bad body language is not supposed to be shown, but I guess I am not good at hiding it or pretending that I was comfortable with the interview.

Selosong poor na magdudoktor

Nagselos ako. Kapal kaya ng mukha ko. Yung isa kasing nilalang na may crush ako. Ano kasi. May iba siyang gusto. Alam ko hindi makatwiran yung nadarama ko. Pero, wala naman akong magawa. Alam ko na pangshobis lang naman yung asosasyon namin ni ano kaya okey lang. Paano kaya kung mas malalim pa roon yung relasyon namin? Sa palagay ko'y mas matindi ang pagseselos ko. Busy ako sa paggawa ng final draft ng aking undergraduate thesis. (Clue na kaya 'yon!) Buti na lang hindi niya alam. At saka kung sakaling malaman niya, e ano ngayon? I just stopped caring. Sarap magpost ng taglish. I refrained from doing a while back, but I can't help myself. This is one of the cases that I deemed I will be able to expressed myself the most if I used them simultaneously. I am poor. Sa kalungkutan, sa UST at UE med school ako natanggap. E alam naman ng lahat na mga 1M ang magagastos kung full payment ang gagawin namin bilang pamilya. So I really intend on getting a scholarship ASAP. Ansarap siguro ng feeling kung maging medical board topnotcher ako. Saka nga pala, tinamaan ako/kami ng katotohanan: Mahal ang med school. Mahal talaga. Gusto kong mag-aral ng med sa UST kasi wala na yung UP. Not applying for the Regionalization Program and my mediocre academic performance in college (as what I think they're standards are) are equally possible reasons why I did not make it into UP.

Paalam, UP

Hindi ako pumaasa sa med school ng UP. Nakalulungkot. Ito pa naman ang inasahan kong magbibigay sa akin ng morale boost para sa natitirang mga araw ko sa kolehiyo. Umasa talaga ako. Sinabi sa email sa akin ng UERMMMC, magaling daw ako. Lumalabas na magaling nga ako, pero hindi ako nabibilang sa pinakamagagaling sa mga magagaling. Alam ko naman na may basehan ang hindi nila pagtanggap sa akin. 200-katao kaming ininterbyu at 120 ang tinanggap. Masama ang loob ko kasi kung titingnang mabuti, nasa lower 40 percentile ako sa mga umabot sa interbyu. Sa paglalagom, ito ang aking ebalwasyon sa nangyari:
50% - mga grado sa kolehiyo: sobrang baba sa mga pamamatayan nila
40% - NMAT: mataas
10% - interbyu: masagwa, sa palagay ko
* regionalization program: hindi ko ito kinuha. dapat sana'y mas binigyan ko ito ng pansin kaysa pagpapasa ng mga resikitos sa takdang panahon. :(

Denying the antecedent and consequent

The Blueprint of Failure

Doubt while others are believing
Play while others are planning
Sleep while others are studying
Delay while others are deciding
Daydream while others are preparing
Procrastinate while others are beginning
Wish while others are working
Waste while others are saving
Talk while others are listening
Frown while others are smiling
Criticize while others are commending
Quit while others are persisting

Note: Again, I love playing with words. This is from William Arthur Ward's "The Blueprint of Success". It looks more effective.

Fudolig speeches

Monday, March 12, 2007
Human 2.0

Mikaela Irene D. Fudolig
Speech delivered at "Celebrating Herstory",
under the umbrella of a UP-wide program, "Womancipation"

March 12, 2007

First things first: I’d like to thank the women who have brought me here, and made possible the way my life has been so interesting these past 5 years: Dr. Amy Guevarra, the Vice Chancellor for Academic Affairs, who referred my request to Dr. Letty Ho, who accepted my credentials, recommended me for admission, and closely monitored my progress, then-Chancellor, now President Emerlinda Roman who allowed these things to happen, then-Vice President Serena Diokno, for sponsoring my case at the Board of Regents, and of course, my mother, who taught me to ask the questions: “What if?” and “Why not?”. These women are all extraordinary iconoclasts: they went around the rules so this promising then-little, and still little, girl, could be what she could be. And I hope they’re mighty pleased with the results. To them (and the enlightened men who agreed with them), my profound “Thank you”.

A few weeks ago, I was asked by Dr. Lucero to talk about my story, in connection with Women’s Month. It wasn’t until a few days ago that I learned that this event was actually under the umbrella of a University-wide, month-long activity, with the theme “Womancipation: Ending the Impunity of Violence Against Women.”

What is women’s liberation? A few days ago, on International Women’s Day, a DJ said on air, “Kung kaya rin ng lalaki mag-drive ng jeep, kaya rin yan ng babae.” Is that women’s liberation? Is women’s liberation about women doing the same things as the men? Is women’s liberation about equality?

I must confess that I wasn’t aware of women’s rights activist groups until a few years ago. I didn’t know that there were women here in the Philippines lobbying for women’s liberation. I didn’t even know what women’s liberation was – probably because I was never bound.

All throughout my school life, I had more female classmates than male ones, and more female teachers than male ones. And in school, the girls surpassed the boys in academics. I was told once that one of the reasons why there are separate rankings for boys and girls was that if there were only one ranking, then almost all in the cream class would be women. By hard work, determination and intense study, I was able to excel in my studies and even be among the top students in class, all the way from elementary to college.

But never did I desire to be equal to a man. I did not dream of doing what men can do. It never dawned on me to gauge my achievement with respect to that of my male classmates. And no, I never dreamed of driving a jeepney, although I know that if I have to, I can learn to do it – or make enough money to drive a car or fly a jet instead.

But I do consider myself a liberated woman.

One of my mother’s favorite phrases is, “All men are created equal. Women are created superior.” Why? My mother’s argument is very simple. The Book of Genesis tells us that God created man on the sixth day of creation. God made Adam first, and then Eve next. But when you create something, do you create something worse? In advertisements, do you ever hear: New! As good as before? Or, “New, worsened!” It’s always, “New, improved!” And who was created later? Eve. New, improved.

In industry, or in making research, do you ever submit something that wasn’t the best you did? Do you make a second draft that is worse than the first, and then present it to the public? No! And what did God make after Eve? Nothing.Why? Because with Eve, the Creator has created perfection.

“All men are created equal. Women are created superior.” To me, women’s liberation is not the equality of men and women. Rather, it is about being who we really are, as women, without comparing ourselves to men. And if all we try is to prove that we can do what men can do, and that we should have what men have, that is not liberation.

I have achieved what I have achieved, not in spite of being a woman, but because of being a woman. And I was lucky to be raised by my parents in an environment where I was allowed to be who I want to be, to be who I am, to reach my full potential. To me, that is liberation.

Ladies, you have achieved much, and have broken many barriers. I now ask that you help my generation go to the next level – to believe in who they are, to achieve because of who they are, not in spite of it.

(Before I end, I would like to share with you a song sung by Helen Reddy in 1972. I hope that it will inspire all of us to dedicate our energies to be the best women we can be, instead of the best male counterparts to ever exist.)

Thank you very much.

Posted by mikki fudolig at 5:51 PM

Labels: fudolig, mikaela, mikki, speech, superior, womancipation, women, women's month
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Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Intellectual Achievement Under Siege

Mikaela Irene Fudolig

Speech at the Phi Kappa Phi Recognition Rites, Jan 31, Benitez Hall, College of Education, UP Diliman

On behalf of Phi Kappa Phi honorees


Good afternoon, everyone.

Today, we are honored by our nomination to the International Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi. Today, our academic achievement is recognized, our intellectual pursuits rewarded. Today, we confirm that passion for academic excellence is rewarding, in-style, and relevant.

We stand in gratitude for this recognition. We bask in the glory of our validation. We take comfort in its implications.

Comfort, you ask? Why comfort?

For the past few years, outside and inside the academe, intellectual achievement has gone under siege. Opinion makers from all over have sought to belittle intellectual competence as an ingredient for success. They claim that academic achievement is an elitist criterion that should be abolished. The emergence of new theories on intelligence has led many un-informed self-styled experts to reject academics as a valid objective of passionate pursuit. Some have equated -- wrongly, I must emphasize – high intellectual achievement with low emotional quotient. Even others whose careers have been anchored on superior academic credentials have joined the bandwagon to demand that academic achievers not just participate, but also excel, in some other fields, in order to be truly recognized.

Please don’t get me wrong. I appreciate and encourage the development of multiple talents. But to put down academic achievement as nothing without other activities: that leads to brain drain in its worst and most insidious form.

I have heard people talk. Honor students, especially those with the highest honors, are dismissed as nerds. (I really don’t mind being called one, but do they have to be so derisive?) When some teacher says a student is very bright, another says, he must have an emotional problem. When one talks about a student’s high grades, another asks, “so how many student organizations has he joined? Can he dance? Can he sing? Can he play a musical instrument?” Why, these faultfinders even count your friends, and wrongly conclude that you don’t have any.

The heavy social pressure to belong to one or several groups has taken its toll on some of our most promising batchmates. Not a small number of them have fallen by the wayside of academic life, having lost their passion to excel in their studies. And though they salve their wounded pride by saying “grades are nothing,” a number of doors have closed on them, excluding them from opportunities to serve the country in the best way they can.

I am told that in the 1950’s and the ‘60’s, intellectual achievement was held in awe. Now, with a few, but well highlighted cases, it is dismissed as irrelevant. The media love to point out that the best of our sports heroes have not finished school, making it more difficult for parents to motivate their children to study. Even in Philippine politics, high academic achievement has all but lost its value; for when was the last time any politician was appreciated for high intelligence more than grandiose rhetoric? And, with a perceived prevalence of low-end outsourcing jobs available to graduates, is academic achievement still all that necessary?

Has academic excellence gone out of style?

Has academic excellence become an anachronism?

Is academic excellence now irrelevant?

If we follow the thinking of our detractors, the answer could be “probably, yes,”

But today, we answer these questions with a resounding “NO”!

Those who seek to discredit academic achievement as elitist, those who seek to promote the advancement of talent at the expense of intellectual pursuits, they miss the point. The importance of rewarding academic achievement, of recognizing it as a valid pursuit by itself and in itself, lies not in the achievement alone.

What is more important is the process that goes on as a student achieves from day to day. More than being summa cum laude, it is becoming summa cum laude. More than being here, it is becoming qualified to be invited here.

That process, ladies and gentlemen, is called the pursuit of excellence. Not just excellence by other people’s standards, but the true excellence one feels achieved when one has done his best. The consistency in effort, the single-mindedness of ideal across the disciplines that we study, the relentless passion to deliver one’s best – these are what are being honored today.

The pursuit of excellence is never irrelevant. It drives the progress of nations. It elicits the respect of our neighbors. It propels people, and countries, to greatness.

It is the reason why we are here.

Soon, most of us will leave the University for what is called “real adult life,” the real world out there. Some will join industry. Others will join the government. Others will move to other fields. The rest will stay to teach and do graduate studies. There may be no grades nor academic honors outside the academe. But that doesn’t matter.

Our passion for excellence will keep us relevant even outside the University. It will be our best weapon against the harsh realities and vicissitudes out there. It will make us the best we can be. Managers who lead. Politicians who deliver. Lawyers who win landmark decisions. Scientists who change the world. Teachers who inspire to greatness.

We will become successful farmers, well-read authors, sought-after consultants, great parents. If we inspire people to be like us in the way we do things, they will be more productive and successful.

And maybe we can rebuild this nation, regain our neighbors’ respect from those old days when we were the most advanced country in this part of the world. Those old days when we, as a nation, honored passion for excellence and held academic achievement in awe.

Let those days begin – again. Today.

Posted by mikki fudolig at 7:37 AM

Labels: january 31, mikaela fudolig, phi kappa phi, recognition
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Friday, April 20, 2007
NERD

Mikaela Irene D. Fudolig
April 20, 2007
Speech delivered at the NIP Recognition Program
as Best BS Physics student

(Note: The NIP is the National Institute of Physics, my home institute.)

Good afternoon.

The NIP is a great place to be. It is the only place where people’s interest range from as great as the stars to as minute as subatomic particles. It is full of very interesting people. It takes in children as young as 11, wearing baby-doll shoes, and retains Physics cult followers who love the subject so much to the exclusion of everything else. They can do sophisticated research with pen and pencil or even the simplest equipment (attributed to lack of budget). You can find them here working in the day, and working in the night, and you actually wonder whether they go home at all. Also in this curious mix of interesting people are coffee addicts, insomniacs, Naruto fans, closet rockers, human computers, and those who, when asked “What instrument do you play?”, would answer, “The Titanium:Sapphire Laser”.

Truly, if you’re interesting, NIP is the place to be.

But Physics has PR problems. Though we are a happy group that can pack a videoke joint and sing the night away, trying to be like linear control systems (who strive to mimic the input) but unfortunately have inherent nonlinearities, people from other disciplines tend to shy away from us. Physics, and we, by extension, have a high fear factor. Notice the bewilderment in the eyes of new acquaintances when we tell them we are physics majors, and hear the silence following a resigned “Ah, Physics”, before a hasty change of topic.

The fear factor does us, and the Institute, no good. Potential students who may have become excellent Physicists turn to Engineering, where they are reduced to wearing black t-shirts sourgraping about their state of grades. Others refuse to be associated with us, and call us nerds, spitting it out like a dirty word.

This has got to stop. We should be holding our heads high. In this light, I suggest: let us launch an organization named, New Energy in Research and Development – or NERD. Consequently, the members shall proudly call themselves NERDS. No tambay hours required! The only requirements are, well, to be what we are and do what we do now. Study, do research, and contribute to the development of science in any possible way. That’s all. Maybe, we can meet once a month, drink coffee or tea (for non-coffee drinkers like me), and give progress reports with videoke singing as intermission..

Of course, the membership is initially available only to physics majors and physics graduates. That’s what we call “home advantage”. But then, once the other institutes learn about us, I suppose they’d want to join, too. You know, they might want an organization where they just need to be who they really are. So we’ll have members from Biology, Geology, Chemistry, Mathematics, MBB, MSI!. And probably, the Engineering students will stop sourgraping and learn that being a nerd is the way to start getting 1.0s.

We will lift the term “nerd” from being derogatory to honorific, synonymous to a passion to excel. And once “nerd” becomes honorific, people will no longer be afraid of us, or of becoming like us. And I think you’d agree that the more nerds there are, the more progress we will have in science. (Oh come on, don’t deny it.)

Some of us will be leaving NIP and will not be coming back, although I think that’s not exactly what NIP is hoping for. But I hope that wherever we go, whatever new fields we study, whatever we’ll work on, we’ll live by the principle of NERD – to do our best, to share the passion for excellence with others, and show people that excellence does not mean social ineptness. Let’s make nerd an honorific term.

So soon, we can say, with a glint in our eye: Are you one of us?

Posted by mikki fudolig at 1:15 AM

Labels: NIP
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Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Pinagpapala ang Pinagpapalà: The Role of the Scientist in Nation Building (Speech at the CS Recognition Program)

Mikaela Irene D. Fudolig

College of Science Recognition Speech

April 22, 2007
(Click here to hear my speech. Will upload a video on YouTube soon!)

Good afternoon.

Let me start my speech with this quote: “Pinagpapalà ang pinagpapala, at pinagpapala ang pinagpapalà.”

For those who didn’t get that, let me literally translate it in English: “Blessed are those who shovel, and those who are blessed are made to shovel.” Of course, it loses its lyricism, so I repeat: “Pinagpapalà ang pinagpapala, at pinagpapala ang pinagpapalà.”

From the various talks that I have attended, I noticed a general theme: that aside from being good students, which is the primary reason why all of us are here today to be recognized by the College of Science, we should have leadership capabilities and social responsibility. Of course, the fact that we’re from UP sets great expectations.

Do I agree with that? I will make this clear: yes, I do agree. Academic excellence alone is a joy that you will most likely keep to yourself, and if not put to good use, then the University has invested on something for nothing.

The question now is: how do we, as scientists, help in nation building?

I have noticed, again, from the many talks that I have attended, that the common idea of “community service” is Sangguniang Kabataan. Red Cross. Gawad Kalinga. Opinion leaders view community service, which they correlate to nation building, as using physical energy to help the poor. You want to do community service? Solicit money from your congressman and donate a school building. You want to do community service? Help during calamities. You want to do community service? Build houses for the poor.

Again, let me make this clear: These ways are indeed community service. But are these the only ways to do community service? Should community service simply be giving something for nothing? Should community service necessarily involve a lot of legwork? Should the effects of community service be immediate?

Let me ask you now: When Michael Faraday discovered magnetic induction, was that community service?

When James Hutton developed and Charles Lyell promoted the theory of uniformitarianism, was that community service?

When our very own Alexander Edward Dy made it possible for amoebiasis to be tested based on salivary IgA instead of stool, was that community service?

Current conventional wisdom would answer: NO. Faraday had been criticized before for discovering something without practical use. And so what if slow geological processes occurred eons before and continue until now? And how can Alexander Dy’s amoebiasis test serve the poor in the squatters’ area? His method will definitely not give jobs to them. It wouldn’t give them shelter. And it’s not FREE.

But Faraday’s discovery of magnetic induction is what led to using AC power in our homes. It is the reason why we can power this microphone. It is the reason why you have lights at home and in the classroom. It is the reason why you can power your refrigerator.

The concept of uniformitarianism did nothing to help the poor, but it helped gain more understanding of the Earth. And it is uniformitarianism that influenced Charles Darwin in formulating his theory of evolution. And I think you know how influential Darwin’s theory of natural selection had been.

Mr. Dy’s amoebiasis test would probably not be given for free. It would not give them shelter, and most probably, wouldn’t give jobs, at least not to the usual recipients of charity. But if amoebiasis can be diagnosed faster simply by getting the saliva of a patient, something which can be readily obtained, then more amoebiasis patients would be cured. More lives would be saved.

The community service of scientists is often underestimated. Our discoveries are often tagged as having no practical applications, of no use in calamities, and of no immediate help to the poor. If Faraday had concentrated on donating blood, if Hutton and Lyell focused on building houses, if Alexander Dy, now magna cum laude, insisted on tutoring every single kid in his barangay FOR FREE, then they would be considered by the majority as excellent servers of the community. But they would not have done what they have done. Where would we be now?

Fellow scientists, do not be disheartened. Our efforts may be devalued by those who seek immediate, visible, and tangible results. But the fact remains: science drives the technology that makes lives better all over the world. Our devotion to our craft, our unceasing search for our holy grail, that piece of knowledge that will change the way things are, is as much community service as the more popular and immediately recognized forms of giving. Let not the pressure to be recognized make us stray from our efforts to improve the life of humanity in the best way we can.

Thank you.

Posted by mikki fudolig at 7:59 AM

Labels: CS, graduation, recognition, speech
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Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Take not the road less traveled

Mikaela Irene Fudolig – BS Physics

Speech at the 96th General Commencement Exercises,

University of the Philippines, Diliman

April 22, 2007
(Click here to hear my speech.)


One of the things that strike me as being very “UP Diliman” is the way UPD students can’t seem to stay on the pavement. From every street corner that bounds an unpaved piece of land, one will espy a narrow trail that cuts the corner, or leads from it. Every lawn around the buildings sports at least one of these paths, starting from a point nearest to the IKOT stop and ending at the nearest entry to the building. The trails are beaten on the grass by many pairs of feet wanting to save a fraction of a meter of traveling, no matter that doing so will exact some cost to the shoes, or, to the ubiquitous slippers, especially when the trails are new.

What do these paths say about us, UP students?

One could say that the UP student is enamored with Mathematics and Pythagoras, hence these triangles formed by the pavement and the path. Many among you would disagree.

Others could say that the UP student is naturally countercultural. And the refusal to use the pavement is just one of the myriads of ways to show his defiance of the order of things. This time, many would agree.

Still, others will say that the UP student is the model of today’s youth: they want everything easier, faster, now. The walkable paths appeal to them because they get to their destination faster, and presumably, with less effort. Now that is only partly true, and totally unfair.

These trails weren’t always walkable. No doubt they started as patches of grass, perhaps overgrown. Those who first walked them must have soiled their shoes, stubbed their toes, or had insects biting their legs, all in the immovable belief that the nearest distance between two points is a straight line. They might even have seen snakes cross their paths. But the soiled footwear, sore toes, and itchy legs started to conquer the grass. Other people, seeing the yet faint trail, followed. And as more and more walked the path, the grass gave in and stopped growing altogether, making the path more and more visible, more and more walkable.

The persistence of the paths pays tribute to those UP students who walked them first – the pioneers of the unbeaten tracks: the defiant and curious few who refuse the familiar and comfortable; the out-of-the-box thinkers who solve problems instead of fretting about them; the brave who dare do things differently, and open new opportunities to those who follow.

They say how one behaved in the past would determine how he behaves in the future. And as we leave the University, temporarily or for good, let us call on the pioneering, defiant, and brave spirit that built the paths to guide us in this next phase of our life.

We have been warned time and again. Our new world that they call “adulthood” is one that’s full of compromises, where success is determined more by the ability to belong than by the ability to think, where it is much easier to do as everyone else does. Daily we are bombarded with so much news of despair about the state of our nation, and the apparent, perverse sense of satisfaction our politicians get from vilifying our state of affairs. It is fashionable to migrate to other countries to work in deceptively high-paying jobs like nursing and teaching, forgetting that even at their favored work destinations, nurses and teachers are some of the lowest paid professionals. The lure of high and immediate monetary benefits in some low-end outsourcing jobs has drawn even some of the brightest UP students away from both industry and university teaching to which they would have been better suited.

Like the sidewalks and pavement, these paths are the easiest to take.

But, like the sidewalks and pavement, these paths take longer to traverse, just as individual successes do not always make for national progress. The unceasing critic could get elected, but not get the job done. The immigrant could get his visa, but disappear from our brainpower pool. The highly paid employee would be underutilized for his skills, and pine to get the job he truly wants, but is now out of his reach. And the country, and we, are poorer because of these.

Today, the nation needs brave, defiant pioneers to reverse our nation’s slide to despair. Today, we must call upon the spirit that beat the tracks. Today, we must present an alternative way of doing things.

Do NOT just take courage, for courage is not enough. Instead, be BRAVE! It will take bravery to go against popular wisdom, against the clichéd expectations of family and friends. It will take bravery to gamble your future by staying in the country and try to make a prosperous life here. It might help if for a start, we try to see why our Korean friends are flocking to our country. Why, as many of us line up for immigrant visas in various embassies, they get themselves naturalized and settle here. Do they know something we don’t?

Do NOT just be strong in your convictions, for strength is not enough. Instead, DEFY the pressure to lead a comfortable, but middling life. Let us lead this country from the despair of mediocrity. Let us not seek to do well, but strive to EXCEL in everything that we do. This, so others will see us as a nation of brains of the highest quality, not just of brawn that could be had for cheap.

Take NOT the road less traveled. Rather, MAKE new roads, BLAZE new trails, FIND new routes to your dreams. Unlike the track-beaters in campus who see where they’re going, we may not know how far we can go. But if we are brave, defiant searchers of excellence, we will go far. Explore possibilities, that others may get a similar chance. I have tried it myself. And I’m speaking to you now.

But talk is cheap, they say. And so I put my money where my mouth is. Today, I place myself in the service of the University, if it will have me. I would like to teach, to share knowledge, and perhaps to be an example to new UP students in thinking and striving beyond the limits of the possible. This may only be a small disturbance in the grass. But I hope you’ll come with me, and trample a new path.

Good evening, everyone.

Posted by mikki fudolig at 8:01 AM

Labels: commencement, fudolig, graduation, mikaela, mikki, speech, university
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Darna

Tila birhen kung lumipad
Nahulog sa bangin
Ako'y napaungol
Sa dalagang nababalot ng wala

Mapapansin ka ba
Sa dami ng 'king ginagawa
Kung kaagaw mo ang lahat
May pag-asa bang makaresling ka

Awit na nangingisay
Baka sakaling nakamamatay
Galit na palaisipan
Sa 'yo na lang iraraos

Nag-aabang, parang sa counter
Sa mga damo sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga puno
Kahit tsansing lang Darna

Ang malas nga naman ni Ding
Lagi ka niyang kasiping
Kung ako lang sa kanya
Kinatay na kita

Mapapansin ka ba
Sa dami ng 'king ginagawa
Kung kaagaw mo ang lahat
May pag-asa bang makaresling ka

Awit na nangingisay
Baka sakaling nakamamatay
Galit na palaisipan
Sa 'yo na lang iraraos

Nag-aabang, parang sa counter
Sa mga damo sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga puno
Kahit tsansing lang Darna

Tumalon kaya ako sa hangin
Para lang makatakas
Saydang ito ang paraan
Para maiwasan ka

Darating pa rin
Kahit maraming ginagawa
Kung kaagaw mo'y marami
Paano na?

Awit na nangingisay
Baka sakaling nakamamatay
Galit na palaisipan
Sa 'yo na lang iraraos

Nag-aabang, parang sa counter
Sa mga damo sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga puno
Kahit tsansing lang Darna

Nag-aabang, parang sa counter
Sa mga damo sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga puno
Kahit tsansing lang Darna

Tala: Wala lang. Ang sarap maglaro ng mga salita. Matagal ko na talagang ninais ang gawin ito. Mula ito sa kantang "Narda" mula sa album na Maharot ng bandang Kamikazee.

Kamalian

Nagsisimula na akong magsawa sa kadedepensa sa aking sarili. Alam kong hindi ito maganda. Kaugnay nito, kailangan kong magsatupad ng counter-measures. Iwas-bangag. Tulog ng maaga. Dapat magkaroon ng konkretong direksyon ang aking mga prioridad: ang aking sarili, pamilya, karir, kaibigan at magiging pamilya. Ang pagkakaroon ng mission-vision ay isa sa mga ito.

Berdugo

Pasensya ka na sa nagawa kong desisyon. Kahit na papaano, alam kong apektado ka nito. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dahilan, pero nagigilti ako sa hindi ko pagpabor sa iyo. Mahirap ang naging desisyon ko. Hanggang ngayon, may bahid pa rin ng kakulangan ng hustisya. Isang buong taon, tila nabaliwala. Haay. Umasa kasi ako, kahit papaano, na papabor sa iyo ang iba, ang karamihan. Nagkamali ako. Para saan nga ba ang ginawa namin? Kung eksaktong-eksaktong sa eksaktong pamantayan, bakit pa namin iyon gagawin? Nasa kontrol ako sa sitwasyon, bagaman bahagya'y mayroon pa rin. Ang lahat ng ginawa ko ay para sa ikabubuti ng samahan at sa interes na rin mo. Kasi kung gusto mo talaga iyon ng ganoon kasama, hindi lang ganoon ang sana'y naging perpormans mo. Hindi ko na babanggitin kung sino ka (at mga kasama mo), alam mo na naman e. Pero kung talagang gusto mo talaga ito at ang tumuloy kalaunan sa kurso sa pagkadoktor sa medisina, malakas ang payo ko na subukan mo uli sa susunod na taon. Sadyang malaki ang naitulong ng naturang samahan sa aking buhay at sa paggabay sa akin tungo sa tamang-daan. Hindi siya pabigat at hindi siya dapat maging hadlang sa direksyong pang-akademiko. Matuto ka sa iyong mga naging pagkakamali.

Sa letrang L

Lubos na makapangyarihan ang wika. Ito ay sumasalamin sa lebel ng karunungan ng isang kultura. Kung may o maraming salita para sa isang bagay, ibig sabihin ay mahalaga o talamak ito sa naturang pangkat ng mga nilalang. Dahil sa napansin ko na mukhang mahilig ang mga Pilipino sa mga kanta ukol sa pag-ibig, naisip kong tingnan ang 'maitim' na kasingkahulugan nito: ang salitang "libog". (Kahit na sa mga matatandang kantang kundiman, mapupunang 'cheesy' talaga tayo.) Heto na po:

libog: utog, iyag, lanya
iyag: pagkaseksi, halay
halay: sagwa, laswa, bastos, bulgar
sagwa: gaslaw, gaspang, labis
laswa: tungayaw, lapastangan
bastos: garapal, mumurahin
bulgar: palasak
gaslaw: harot, likot, karatsa
gaspang: ligasgas

Sayang

Wala lang. Sayang lang oras ko kasi wala akong skedyul na ginawan na akin sanang susundin. Pramis ko na gagawa ako ng sked, gagawin yung mga gawain ayon sa sched. maksimum ng 2 oras ng kompyuter, maglilinis ng kwarto, mag-aayos ng bag, tutulong sa gawain bahay, mag-eeksersays, isasaisip at isasapuso ang lahat ng mga gawain at balakin.

Maria

* Ate, patawad po sa pagsasalita ko ng basura laban sa iyo. Ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit nasira yung dagang optikal ko. Ang babaw talaga. Bumili naman ako ng pampalit mula sa CD-R King.
* Hindi kailangang parating bago ang regalo.
* Kakainis talaga yung nangyari kanina sa Novaliches. Nagparinig yung tita ko tungkol sa hindi ko paniniwala na may Diyos. Kung mayroon lang sanang silahis ng pag-asang maiintidihan niya ako, idinepensa ko sana yung sarili ko at ang aking mga paniniwala. Nakakainis talaga kasi naroon pa yung pamilya ko at mga pinsan. At bakit nangyari ang lahat ng ito? Dahil sa tatay ko. Siya ang nagkwento sa tita ko na ateista ako. Sabi niya hindi ko dapat itago iyon at maiintidihan naman daw ako nito. Pero dati pa namin alam na sarado Romano Katoliko itong tita kong tumulong ng malaki sa pagbibigay sa amin ng suporta pinansyal. Ang gusto lang naman talaga ng tatay ko ay yaong hindi ko/namin itago ang katotohanan sa tita ko (na ateista ako). Ang punto ko naman ay hindi ko naman ikinakaila iyon. Mas okey nga lang kung hindi namin siya gabayan tungo sa pagkakaalam noon. Sa sama ng loob ko, naging tulala ako sa malaking bahagi ng aming pagdalaw. Dinaan ko na lamang ang aking sama ng loob sa paglamon ng pansit, ang paborito kong ulam. Medyo gago nga ako kasi halatang masama yung loob ko at hinid ako sumagot kahit na kinausap ako.

Lipas

Pasensya na
Pasensya na't minahal kita
Minahal kita ng labis
At labis mo 'kong sinaktan
Masakit isipin
Sumama ang loob ko
 magmula noong araw na iyon
 hanggang sa ngayon
Ang araw na 'yong ipinamukha
 sa 'king wala
Wala 'ko sa 'yong pag-asa
Na hindi mo 'ko mahal
Ibang lalaki ang nasa puso mo
Hindi ako
Bakit?
Kung bakit ba kasi nagawa
 kitang takutin at saktan
Ako mismo ang naglayo ng loob
 mo sa 'kin
Kung maibabalik ko lang
 ang nakaraan
Inayos ko sana ang gulong ako
 ang nagsimula
Ngunit sa ngayo'y huli na
 ang lahat
Tadhana ang nagpakitang
 ako ay isang duwag
Hindi ako karapat-dapat sa 'yo
Hindi tayo karapat-dapat
 sa isa't isa
Tumigil ang daloy ng panahon
Halos sinira ko ang aking sarili
 dahil sa galit
Sinayang ko ang oras
 sa kaiisip sa 'yo
Kahit na sigurado akong
 ni isang saglit ay
 'di ako sumagi sa isip mo
Suko na ako sa labang ito
Maging wala sa 'tin ang nagwagi
Ito ang unang malaking
 kabiguan ko
Nangyari sa palad mo
Siguro hindi ka pa rin masaya
Kahit na nakaganti ka na
Marahil dahil 'di mo 'to alam
Wala na 'kong pakialam
Hindi ko na mithiing
 paligayahin ka
Lipas na tayo

Buhay Slavehack

Ang buhay ay parang Slavehack (isang hacking game). Tayong lahat ay mga kompyuter. Sa ating mga interaksyon ay hinahack natin ang bawat isa. Maraming tao ang garapalan sa pakikipagkilala habang ang iba naman ay sobrang mahiyain. Sa mabuti man o masamang intensyon ay nag-iiwan tayo ng marka sa ibang tao: virus. Ang iba sa atin ay may kakayahang tanggalin ito sa pamamagitan ng anti-virus, ngunit ang iba ay mas pinipiling hayaan ito sa kani-kaniyang mga sistema. Ang marka ay maaaring seryoso (spam) o hindi seryoso (warez). Importante ang mga maralita at mga taong magagago upang sila'y iyong maabuso at pagkaperahan (slaves). (Patama ito sa sobrang kuripot at hindi makatao kung magtrato sa mga manggagawa/katulong.)

Kapag ang isang tao ay napuno na, maaari siyang gumawa ng isang krimen laban sa kanyang kapwa (DDoS attacks). Ito ay lubos na nakapaparalisa sa kanyang kaaway, lalo na kung ito ay grabe at maramihan.

Upang umakit ng maraming mga may kwenta o kapaki-pakinabang na mga kaibigan, kailangang magkaroon ng pinakabago at pinakamataas na mga kasangkapan (software at hardware). Mahalaga rin ang mga matitinong koneksyon (internet connection) at dambuhalang tambakan (harddrive). Mayroon din namang ikalawa at ikatlong pagkakataon sakaling magkamali (external harddrive, banks, ip resets). Ang pinakamahalagang gawain ay ang magkamal ng pera at reputasyon.

Wala na

'Malaking pagkakamali. Napakalaking pagkakamali na ako ang inibig mo, sinasabi ko!' -- sinabi ng dati kong kamag-aral sa aking kaibigan

Mapapaputang-ina ka talaga kapag binasted ka ng isang babae. Oo, babae. Ngunit ang naturang babae ay hindi lang basta-basta--siya ay ang binibining tinitibuk-tibok ng iyong puso.

Med tip

Applying to med schools? Yes. Best tip I got: Be a doctor. (Be doctor-like.) Makes sense to me.