Self-Respect

It's high time that I paid myself the long overdue self-respect that it deserves. I backed-off from the role of 'the typical Joel', the Joel according to my group mates for the incoming UERMMMC House Staff 2010 on December 17, 2010. An individual is dynamic, ever-changing. It was unfair that I was already judged, being given the role as mentioned. I was torn being continuing with the role and backing out; I backed out.

I am currently reading Nelsons - Body Fluids and Electrolytes. It has been worthwhile. I discovered that it is not really that complicated. I don't have to fully understand everything I read during the first time I read it. I just have to keep on reading so as to reinforce my initial interest. I am looking forward to continue learning about very important and basic things in Medicine. Thinking and over-analyzing may have gotten the better of me. Goals should only serve as guides, and not cause undue obsession and/or compulsion.

This is my last duty day in Pediatrics Service Wards. The sub-rotation is generally feel good. All of the patients improved. We admit patients, treat, and monitor them. We help them cure themselves and send them home as happy kids. I am grateful for having been given the opportunity to aid them in their journey towards consciousness. Till we meet (if ever we meet) again. They seem like angels that busy themselves in their little affairs/games. I hope that they remain childlike, that they keep on dreaming and fulfill their owns dreams, however big these may seem compared to their currently small bodies.

I love and let go. I love and let go. I love and let go. Is it bad to be selfish? Language is a faculty of man and yet do him disservice at times. Some words are best to have never been created. I let go. I let go. I let go. I love you. I love you. I love you. We feel it both. We feel it both. We feel it both. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. We are one. We are one. We are one. I close my eyes. I close my eyes. I close my eyes. And I see. And I see. And I see. All that is. All that is. All that is.