New Year's Resolution

(In alphabetical order)

• Be a good family member. Be a good team player.
• Believe in God. Not to change my religion. [Note: I turned atheist this year.]
  
• Clean my room and keep it clean.
• Confess at least once this year (the sacrament). [Note: Read what's above.]
  
• Constant long-term goal in mind. Stick to my schedule for the day.
• Kaizen (constant improvement) of myself.
• Initiate chat at least 60% of the time. Become more of an extrovert.
• Love my studies. Show genuine interest for Biology at all times.
• Love myself. I will not abuse myself so long as it is possible.
• No any form of 'sex', whatsoever. No infatuation. Forget Ms. Ang. [Note: Sex is generally good. It has a purpose; it is important. I'll just have to make sure to balance it with respect to my life.]
• Practice memory power according to what I have learned from Mr. Alejaga.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of what I want to achieve for the coming year.

Welcome to Performancing!

Hi there! I am just trying out Performancing for Firefox which is an excellent add-on for the browser. Now, I can enjoy making posts much better.

Recalling an incident

I am about to recall an incident which happened last semester. This is so that I can juxtapose my experience of riding a jeepney with Mr. Quilang with that of Mr. Penuliar. Last semester, when I was taking up the course Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy, I was under the instruction of Mr. Gil M. Penuliar. One night, when I rode a jeepney near C.A.S.A.A. Food Center, Mr. Penuliar also boarded the same vehicle. Being bitter about my low and failing grades in the laboratory, I didn't even care to greet him.

Looking back, I knew what my mistakes were. I didn't devote enough time to studying the course yet I expected to pass my exams. I took it as something and so my rapport with my teachers suffered even more. I know that I cannot turn back the past, but hey, I can make amends. Mr. Penuliar, this semester, is once again my laboratory instructor. This time, it's in the subject Microbiology. This time, I can put more effort, become an effective student, not take things personally (but not impersonally also), get higher grades, and definitely learn much more ideas and concepts.

Note: I got a grade of 1.75 in Microbiology. Cheers!

Rant about locking my blog

Your blog requires word verification

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My blog is therefore accused of being a spam blog. Is this because I use two languages in it, English and Filipino? I thought Blogspot was the best blog site ever but I guess I was wrong. This is ridiculous!

As I end this post, I have to type the crazy word (captcha) jdamuda in the rectangular space below. Hahaha.
Note: The image above was not the captcha http://www.blogger.com/home required me to enter. For your information, captcha is an acronym for "completely automated public Turing test to tell computers and humans apart" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captcha).

Unang Panliligaw

Malapit na ang umaga
Sa totoo, ito ay darating
Sa loob ng ilang oras na lamang.
Ako ay nababato
Hindi alam ang gagawin
Hindi mapakali
'Pagkat malapit ka ng dumating
Tulad ng umaga.
Ikaw ay napakaliwanag
Sadyang busilak sa iyong paligid.
Mula noon hanggang sa panahong ito
Hindi ko kailanman
Inisip na kita'y aking ligawan.
Ngunit ano nga naman ang alam ko?
Hindi ko napigil ang aking sarili
Isinawsaw ang sarili sa alanganin
Upang ikaw ay aking makapiling.
Hindi ko pa nararanasang manligaw
Dahil dito, hindi ko pa rin nararanasang
Masaktan o 'di kaya'y masagot
Ng isang matamis na oo.
Ngayon, este, mamaya ko pa lang ito gagawin.
Sa wakas, magbabakasakali na rin ako.
Sa pagkakataong ito, hindi na ako matotorpe.
Dahil sa pagkakataong ito
Pansamantala kong itatabi ang aking saplot
Ng pananggalang, ng proteksyon
Upang aking maipadama sa iyo
Ang tunay na nadarama.
Pagpasensyahan mo na kung ito lamang
Ang aking abot-kaya ngayon.
Hindi ako nangangako sa iyong mananariwasa ka
Sa aking piling.
Ang tanging maipapangako ko
Ay ang iyong kaligtasan
At ang pangakong pagsusumikapan kong
Magkakasundo tayo
Kung hindi man sa lahat ng bagay
Ay sa nakalalaking bahagi nito.

Kumain kasama ang pamilya

Anlamig naman dito. Masarap sigurong uminom ng hot sauce!

Pinaglaruan ang baso

Joel, hindi iniinom 'yan!

Isara ang iyong bibig!

Tirahan mo naman ako!

Jung Test Results

Introverted (I) 71.05% Extroverted (E) 28.95%
Sensing (S) 51.52% Intuitive (N) 48.48%
Thinking (T) 52.63% Feeling (F) 47.37%
Perceiving (P) 52.5% Judging (J) 47.5%

ISTP - "Engineer". Values freedom of action and following interests and impulses. Independent, concise in speech, master of tools. 5.4% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Teachers can be nice

Teachers can be nice, at least sometimes
As I exited the U.P. Shopping Center, I saw my former instructor in Biostatistics and Genetics, Mr. J.P. Quilang. I tried my best to evade him but he headed to the jeepney stop where I was. He was the first one who greeted me and so I greeted him back, just like what a civilized and well-educated human being would have done. A Pantranco-headed jeep was approaching us so I boarded it right away, just like as before, in my effort to ride the same vehicle with him, which would then put me in an awkward situation. Unluckily, he went into the same jeep after me. He generously offered to pay my ride; I refused once but then he insisted so I didn't reject his offer anymore since he was my teacher and I'd also like to get a free ride once in a while. With a twenty-peso bill, he paid our respective fares with mine costing him P7.50. He was headed to the Highway (HI-WAY). I thanked him for his good act. Not being a good conversationalist, I kept quiet the entire trip and thanked him once more when I got off the jeepney on Philcoa.

Arbitrarya

Tala: Arbitrarya ang pagset ko ng araw sa dalawang entring sa baba. Ang aktwal na araw ay sa pagitan ng ika-10 ng Nobyembre, 2005 at ika-24 ng Enero, 2006.

10:26 - 10:44 N.U.: UP, mahal ko na

Sa pagpapaaral sa akin ng aking mga magulang sa UP, lalo na sa aking ama. Napag-isip-isip ko lamang na pinansyal ang pangunahing dahilan ng ginawang pang-uudyok ng aking ama sa akin, mga tatlong taon na rin ang nakalipas. Ngayon, nareyalays ko na tila mabuti na narito ako (sa UP), dahil marami-rami rin naman akong mga natututunan tulad ng mga sumusunod:
1. Reyalidad ng kahirapan sa Pilipinas.
2. Pagkakaroon gn kamag-aral na tagaoposit sex. Hindi nga lang naging maganda ang aking adjusment. Hindi ko masasabi ng tuwiran na ang aking nagawang pag-aadjust.
3. Agham at relihiyon. Nadebelop ang atheist sayd ko sa unibersidad na ito. Hindi naniwala sa diyos at muling naniwala sa kanya, hindi na nga bumalik ang matinding kapit ng doktrina sa akin tulad ng dati.
4. Pagkameet sa iba't ibang uri ng tao. Walang malinaw na stereotype kung ano ang isang UP student 'pag ikaw mismo ang nag-aaral dito.
5. UP bilang akademikong institusyon at barangay. Ang dalawang mga bahaging ito ay pagka- at pagiging UP ng UP ay nagtutunggali at may kanya-kanyang punto. Dapat nga lang tandaan na ang UP ay first and foremost, isang akademikong institusyon.
6. Scientific na pag-iisip, atitud. Dati, ako ay manghang-mangha sa social science, filipino, at math. Ang mga ito ay nagbago noong ako ay napasok sa aking mga major subjects bilang biology student. Kahit papaano, natutunan kong maapreciate ang mga buhay sa aking paligid.

10:45 - 10:58 N.U.: PMHS 60% rule

Tungkol sa 60% rule sa PMHS. Noong nakaraang semestre, matatandaan na ako ay isa sa mga pumirma pabor sa pagpapataw ng 60% rule sa organisasyong UP PMHS. Bilang aplikante noong nakaraang taon, naiinis ako sa mga myembrong hindi mahagi-hagilap kahit na ano ang aking gawin. Kailangan ko kasing magpapirma sa kanila para sa aking sigsheet.
Ngayon, sa ikalawang semestre ng ikalawang taon ng aking pagiging myembro ng organisasyon, nararamdaman kong natatamaan ako nito. Hindi ako nagsisisi anupaman sa ginawa kong pagboto pabor sa pagsasabatas ng pagtatanggal sa mga myembrong hindi aabot ng attendance sa 60% ng kabuuan ng opisyal na mga activity ng organisasyon. Nais ko ngang tanungin yung Sec Com na siyang nagrerecord ng naturang mga datos.

Habang hindi pa ako natatanggal ngayon, nanghihinayang na ako na baka matanggal ang aking membership sa PMHS na siyang pinaghirapan ko at ng aking pamilya sa loob ng isang taon. Lubos na marami ang pinagawa sa akin sa organisasyon na tila may extra akong 3 units kada semestre sa panahon ng aking pag-aaplay. Kung sakali, wala akong dapat sisihin kundi ang aking sarili.

Sa kasalukuyan, binabalak kong sumali sa org ni Sir Neil, guro ko sa Bio 12 lab na sa kasalukuyan ay walang pangalan. Kung sakali, maaaring isiping ito ang magiging kapalit ng PMHS. Sana mas magaang ang trabaho at maging mas masaya ako rito.

Attractive

"You may be attractive but that doesn't mean I want to or will have sex with you." -- Joel Duque

On Bed

"You may be good in bed but I am looking for someone who is better out than in it." -- Joel Duque

Nanood ng Oblation Run

"Masarap manood ng Oblation Run. Andaming mga babae sa gilid. At sa dami nila, lumalaki ang pagkakataong makakita ako ng mga magandang babaeng nanonood." -- Joel Duque

Gaya ni Gat Jose Rizal

"Gaya ni Gat Jose Rizal, nais kong ialay ang aking buhay sa Inang Bayan at mamatay para sa ating bansang Pilipinas. Wala akong pakialam kung magkaroon ito ng silbi o epekto sa ibang mga tao. Gusto kong matandaan ako ng mga tao bilang mabuting nilalang. Walang namang problema kung sakaling hindi ito mangyari." -- Joel Duque

Existence and Death

"Death initiates the termination of one's existence." -- Joel Duque

On Writing and Poems

"I may enjoy writing but I cannot consider myself a writer. I may be poetic but it does not follow that I am a poet." -- Joel Duque

Wanton lifestyle

"If you live life with a wanton lifestyle, then change your ways." -- Joel Duque

Believing elders

"Believe your elders. If not always, then do so sometimes. They are correct in certain aspects." -- Joel Duque

For bus passengers

"It is best not to wait at the door to exit the vehicle, especially if the floor is wet." -- Joel Duque

Costs Something

"Everything costs something, if you know what I mean." -- Joel Duque

Joel Duque's dead (false)

False: Joel Duque's dead.

True: While I was on my way to school, a man in front of the seat to the right on the bus kept on looking at me. For what specific reason, I don't know. This, coupled with my playing of PC-emulated games was the reason of the accident. It was an air-conditioned Fermina bus I rode that day, as far as I can remember. As we were nearing my destination that day, we reached Philcoa. There was a woman who was approaching the same single exit of the bus and she was walking in the opposite direction with respect to mine. I was successful in outpacing her so that I would be the first one to exit the automobile. And indeed, I was the first to exit. I tightly clang to the right side railing of the bus's exit. When the bus was slowing down (decelerating), I wasn't able to balance my body anymore and I slipped out of the bus. I hurt the left side of my chin, bruised my left elbow, left knee, and the left side of the inner part of my lower lip, and sprained my left arm and right thumb muscles.

False: As I fell down, a car was speeding up and hit me on my right leg. I rolled up the roof of the car and fell down on its back. The back of my head first hit the ground. As I was totally wet with blood and lying on my broken back, people started to gather around me because of the commotion that I accidentally made. They started to reprimand the driver and conductor of Fermina on my behalf. But my time was running out. I concerned UP student went out of his way and exclaimed out loud that I should immediately be brought to the hospital. An anonymous concerned citizen, with his limited daily allowance, volunteered to bring me to one. And so I, along with my school bag and Coca-Cola umbrella, was brought to East Avenue Medical Center. I was brought to the emergency room and the doctors and nurses there, full of effort, took care of me. My family was then informed about my situation. Sadly, because of their insufficient funds and inadequate equipment, they weren't able to fully realize their potentially of healing me. They decided to transfer me to a better equipped hospital. I died on my way to one.

False: My soul then left my body. I met the creatures of heaven, purgatory, and hell. I stayed in hell. I regret for not having confessed my sins and not believing in the Roman Catholic Church and God.

Note: I don't believe in God anymore.

The word 'love'

"Don't use the word love haphazardly lest it will lose its true meaning." -- Joel Duque

What if...

What if I started too look at things at with a totally different point of view? Such as:
1. Biology totally rocks.
2. I am handsome.
3. I can excel at whatever I do. (Just gotta put/devote more time to it.)
4. I am a good man.
5. I am always in a good mood.
6. I truly want to learn and learn. (There's no end to learning.)
7. Have true peace within my soul.
8. I am not living/stuck with the past.
9. I am not ashamed of who I truly am. (Because they will accept me.)
10. Think that the impossibles are not that impossible.

Biology

I am Joel Tolentino Duque. Currently, I am a 3rd year student at UP Diliman taking up the undergraduate course BS Biology. In high school, Biology was my waterloo. That may, in part, explain my poor performance in my Biology subjects. My card grades in Biology 11 = 2.5, 12 = 2.5, 180 = 2.25, 102 = 3, 115 = 2.5, and 140 = 2.25. My mother convinced me, somehow, to study biology to become a good medical student and eventually a doctor in the future. In the past, my mother was denied access to the medical school in UST just because her father was a farmer. That translated, more or less, to the questionable capacity of her parents to pay for her supposedly high tuition fees. Had she known this, she told me that she have put 'landlord' as the occupation of her father. And so here I am, more than half way through my course. I liked my Economics subject in high school, having obtained the gold medal for that subject in high school. Also, I liked Mathematics for a long time, from my years in preparatory school all the way to my last year in high school. I could've taken up BS Economics or BS Mathematics instead but I guess I have failed myself for not having asserted to my family, especially to my mother that I didn't want to be a doctor. I don't know to what extent I am prejudging Medicine with Biology. My life is definitely starting to unfold before me and I have no idea to where I am going or what I'll be doing in the next, 5, 10, or 20 years in my life. Life is both fortunate and unfortunate. It is full of questions. Unfortunate because the roads are uncertain and the events are random. And fortunate because there are wonderful and not so wonderful but normal people, nonetheless, who have been there to comfort me and give me a semblance of normality plainly because of their existence. I give my biggest thanks to you. Let's face life with a renewed sense of faith and leap towards the bright tomorrow!

Kulangot

Malambot
Mainit-init
Pananggalang
Iba't ibang kulay

Mahirap makamtan
Mahinhin
Pakipot
Hindi naman ipot

Malagkit
Di ube
Di suman
Di pagkain

Masarap?
Di ko alam
Kung gusto mo
Iyong subukin

Umiwas siya sa akin
Hindi niya gusto
Ang aming paghihiwalay
Ay sadyang napakasakit

Nakaloloko
Nakababaliw
Umiikot ang aking mundo
Dahil sa kanya

Nakaleletse
Nakabuburat
Kupal
Bwiset

Puno ng pagsisi
Hindi naging kami
Pinanaginip ko
Ang pagkakataong yaon

Malungkot
Pero sana hindi palagi
Gusto ko rin namang
Lumigaya kahit papaano

Ngayon ko lamang napagtanto
Na ang nilalang na iyon ay parang isang kulangot
Mahirap sungkitin, mahirap tanggalin
Ngunit kung tapos na, anong ginhawa

Math 2

I was able to take Math 2 as one of my subjects this semester. There is currently an idea circulating around my head whether or not I will make any mistakes in the entire subject. Putting a goal as such adds a new dimension to its study. I want to bring learning Practical Mathematics to a brand new level.

End: 1:36 P.M.

Note: I made mistakes in this subject. Nevertheless, I got a grade of 1.0 and vindicated myself in my math subjects.

http://www.mat.uniroma1.it/~fanelli/mathpage.htm

Routine

http://www.neurodermitis-im-griff.de/web/patienten/kids/routine.htm

I know that I should at least make a schedule of the things that I should do (or what is expected of me). It was difficult to carry 2 biology books around the UP campus. These were Brock Biology of Microorganisms and Botany: An Introduction to Plant Biology. I should make sufficient effort so as not to turn my effort worthless. Also, I should realize that I would carry them back to the library with an effort which is more or less equal to taking them around and home.

End: 1:32 P.M.

3rd Year, 2nd Semester, Academic Year 2005-2006

Just so you may know, my schedule for this semester is as follows:

CLASS CODE SUBJECT SECTION UNITS DAYS TIME ROOM
37533 Bio 101 MHW 3 MTh 1-2:30 P.M. IB 105
37535 Bio 101 MHWHRU Th 2:30-5:30 P.M. PH 4209-11
37547 Bio 120 MHQ 4 MTh 7:30-8:30 A.M. IB 104
37548 Bio 120 MHQRU MTh 8:30-11:30 A.M. IB 204
37562 Bio 150 TFQ 4 TF 7:30-8:30 A.M. IB 104
37564 Bio 150 TFQXY TF 2:30-5:30 P.M. IB 214
39160 Math 2 TFR 3 TF 8:30-10 A.M. MB 117
15674 PI 100 MHV1 3 MTh 11:30 A.M.-1 P.M. CAL 401

Don't drink coffee

Do not drink coffee. Not following this simple advice will more or less lead to a sleepless day. You may also have occurrences of hallucinations wherein the world is spinning.

http://jcooney.net/archive/2005/09/13/6730.aspx

Batong naging ginto

"Putang ina." 'Yan ang aking nadama nang hindi ako pinahintulutan ni Ma'am Roderos na kumuha ng Bio 150 sa panahong ninais ko, ang pang-umaga. Sinabi ko sa kanya na kung panghapon ang Bio 150 ko ay ikakansela ko kung PI 100 na nakuha ko na dahil magkoconflict ito sa Bio 150. Nagmakaawa na ako't lahat ngunit tinarayan niya pa ako sa pamamagitan ng mga salitang: "Ano ba ang gusto mo, PI 100 o Bio 150?" Malumanay akong sumagot sa kanya ng "Bio 150 po." Mangilang minuto rin akong hindi makagalaw at makapag-isip ng mabuti. Kamuntik na magdilim ang aking pag-iisip sa nadama kong uri ng pang-aapi. Mabigat man sa aking kalooban, marapat kong tinanggap ang aking kapalaran. Sa loob-loob ko, "Sayang!" Akala ko pagbibigyan nila ako sa aking kahilingan na maging sa umaga na lang ang bahaging laboratorya sa aking kursong Bio 150. Kahit papaano umaasa ako sa hula ng aking kaibigan na si Jayson na makukuha ko ang aking gustong kaorasan ng aking mga asignatura. At dahil naging maluwag ang aking umaga sa mga araw na darating na ikalawang semestre sa aking paaralan ngayong taon. Kinailangan ko mang ikansela ang aking puwang sa PI 100, umaasa akong mababawi ko ito maya-maya. At muli't muli, ako ay umaasang sa kalauna'y magdudulot ito sa akin ng wala ng iba pang pakiramdam kundi kasiyahan.

Tala: Nakauno ako sa PI 100 sa ilalim ni Prop. Monico Atienza. Uno rin ako sa Math 2. Naipasa ko yung ikatlo kong eksamen sa lektyur ng Bio 150 kahit noong araw ko lang nalaman na may eksam. Wala kasing nakaalala sa aking klasmeyt. Gaga naman si SDJ kasi hindi niya inayos. Araw-araw ako dati magtsek ng UVLE pero noong nag-anowns siya ay hindi na ako tumitingin sa websayt.

Saludo ako

Saludo ako
Sa mamamayang Pilipino
Maghapong nagtatrabaho
Nagpapagod para sa kanilang pamilya
Para sa bansa

Saludo ako
Sa inyo
Pamana sa aking magarap
Para sa Pilipinas
Maraming salamat po
Hindi matatawaran
Ang inyong pagpupursigi
At maging ang munting saludo ko lamang
Ang maiaalay ko sa inyo ngayon
Marapat na tanggapin niyo muna ito

Saludo ako
Sa mga patuloy na lumalaban
Para sa katarungan at kaunlaran
Oo, kayrami pa nating haharapin
Ngunit hindi tayo dapat mawalan ng pag-asa
Dahil ang buhay ay sadyang matagal
Napakaliit lang ang ating nakikita
Kumpara sa kabuuan

Saludo ako
Sa mga naggugol sa kalusugan
Para sa kapakanan ng sambayanang Pilipino
Masarap ngang mamahinga
Masarap ngang magtamad-tamaran
Pero higit na nakagiginhawa ng pakiramdam
Ang magpagod ng may higit na katuturan

Saludo ako
Sa mga tapat sa pagbabayad ng buwis
Kahit na tayo ay sadyang hirap na hirap na
Ay nakuha pa nating patuloy na magtiwala
Sa ating pamahalaan
Naniwala tayo na ito ay makapagbabago

Saludo ako
Sa mga nabubuhay ng marangal
Higit lalo na at ating dangal na lamang
Ang natitira't matatawag nating atin

Saludo ako
Sa ating lahat
Sa payak na kadahilanang tayo'y mga Pilipino
Mabuhay tayong lahat
Mabuhay!

Brotherly letter

Ate Nadia,

First of all, I would like to tell you that I am not trash. I am a human being. If you don't know, your negative comments, even if they are not true, sometimes hurt me too. It's just hard to accept whatever logic you have for verbally hurting me. I just want you to know that I'll stay strong in spite of everything that we have gone through and are going through as brothers and sisters and as friends. I hope that you'll find out an alternative way to vent out your anger or anger/stress which you have accumulated these past few days and weeks. Even though I am starting to have ill feelings for you for the way you have inaccurately treated me, I am still able to hang on and that I will be there for you. I am looking forward to our coming and implicit reconciliation. Good day!

Recent bad encounters with Ate Nadia:
1. She negatively and childishly reacted when I refused to grant her favor of scanning our family pictures. If you only knew that I only wanted to know what your reaction would be, which I certainly did get. Although I would say that I enjoyed what I saw.
2. She referred to me as trash when I wasn't even joking around with her.
3. She knocked and slammed back my door when I closed the door when I was on my blog. Why Joel, why? Because I am tired of her disturbing me when I am weblogging and she making horrible remarks to me, in my face, without regards to my feelings. I was able to formulate a hypothesis about her recent actions and attitude. She was having many exams, left and right, in the middle of her 2nd trimester while I was doing nothing important, playing games all day. I think that you shouldn't give a damn at all with what I am doing with my free time as I don't speak anything when you go out of our house with your friends. You acted in such a fashion, affecting my feelings in a manner which I have never felt from our parents. Sometimes, you become arrogant to the point of being obnoxious and overpowering. I just want for both of us to realize that our mistakes and that we'll be able to see the light at the end of the day.

End: 3:45 P.M.

Masarap matulog

Tulog, gusto kong matulog
Dahil umaga na ha ha
Toot, toot
Nababalisa ako
Hindi alam ang gagawin
Haay, naaantok na ako
May gumagalaw ng mga porselana
Ano ba iyon?
Dadadadaga o
Pupupupusa?
Ansarap matulog sa madaling-araw na tulad nito
O kay tahimik
Maging ang aking pagsulat gamit ng aking lapis ay naririnig ko
Oohhhh
(Buntong-hininga, buntong-hininga)
Pagkatapos ng paguran
Siya nga naman at kaysarap matulog
Kahit na ang aking kamay ay matigas na kahoy
Masarap pa ring matulog
Mahapdi na ang aking mga mata
Lalong masarap matulog
(Hinga, hinga)
Kaya nga ako
Bumibigay na
O, sige na nga, matutulog na ako
Nawa'y magising ako sa tamang oras mamaya ha
(Isang malalim na hinga)

Sinimulan: 12:41 A.M.
Tinapos: 12:52 A.M.

Tulog

Tulog, gusto kong matulog
Dahil binago na ha ha
Toot (2x)
Nababalisa ako
Hindi alam ang gagawin
Haay, naaantok na ako
May gumagalaw ng mga porselana
Ano ba iyon?
Dadadadaga o
Pupupupusa
Ansarap matulog sa madaling-araw
na tulad nito
Okey, tahimik
Maging ang aking pagsusulat
gamit ng aking lapis ay
naririnig ko
Ohhh
*Buntong-hininga* (2x)
Pagkatapos ng pag-uusisa
Siya nga naman o kay sarap
matulog
Kahit na ang kamay na kalog
Masarap pa ring matulog
Mahapdi na ang aking mga mata
Lalong masarap matulog
*Hinga* (2x)
Kaya nga ako
Bumibigay na
O, sige na nga
Matutulog na ako
Nawa'y ito'y maging
sa tamang oras
Sarap ha
*Malalim na hinga*

Tapos: 12:52 N.U.

Lola's failing memory

Yesterday, we went to Bayanan, Bacoor, Cavite, the place of most of my mother's youth, to celebrate the 93rd Birthday of Lola Kikay. Unfortunately, Ate Nadia wasn't able to come with us since she had two exams on that day. At first, I didn't want to come along, reasoning out that my relative in Cavite wouldn't be able to notice my absence and that I have no friends or buddies there. But my mother didn't give up on me and countered I do indeed get their attention for not being there and that Lola will not live long enough for another birthday celebration. And so, I gave in to my dear mother's request. We readied ourselves for departure. We left the apartment at around 4:18 in the afternoon in the middle of alternating rain and mild drizzles. My father went to another street, probably to Boni Serrano (formerly Santolan) Avenue to greatly increase the probability of our being able to get a taxi immediately. After being caught up in numerous traffic jams and making another wise bad decision of rerouting (changing route or way), we finally reached our destination, the house of my grandparents in Cavite. At about 6:15 P.M., Papa paid the taxi driver a whopping and may I comment, an undeserved 400 pesos. Not contented with their generosity, my parents offered the taxi cab Nixy's driver to eat at the place, which offered food, buffet-style. We ate to our hearts' content. My mother reminded me of my foolish saying, "Food equals happiness." During the merrymaking, my father asked me to take the blessing of my older relatives there. Of the five people Papa told me to get blessings from, I only managed to get the blessings of Aunt Mila, Lola Kikay, and Uncle Mario. I failed to get the blessings of others, including Aunts Ester and Rita. Maybe the situation was awkward or I just felt I didn't want to be blessed, or both. And so some of my time there was alone was spent on reflecting about the necessity, significance, and logic of receiving older people's blessings. No doubt, I should be looking into this whenever time does permit me to do so. going back to the event, after the pastor arrived and got himself ready for the mass or what my mother more appropriately called a *she, herself forgot the term here*, ceremony began. It was what I called a mass of goodwill for one's birthday. We listened to the bible reading. It told us that it is we who form Jesus. We are parts with different functions; we are equally important. We live and function in different ways but for one end. Whatever that end may be, it is we who decide. Then the pastor gave out a mediocre sermon to which my mother commented that the pastor wasn't fully prepared. To summarize his cheap talk, he lauded our gallant efforts of celebrating our dear old lady's birthday and asserted that we would be very lucky to be able to achieve a feat such as reaching one's 93rd birthday. Toward the end of the 'mass', the pastor asked the children to receive lola's blessings one by one, though in a not so orderly fashion. When our time came, I lazily went in front of my lola. The night was good until then, but all this suddenly changed when my mother asked lola if she still do recognize me. After trying to remember (may it be to the best of her ability or not), she gave a cold reply: "No." or something like that in Tagalog. I can't or choose not to remember anymore the exact words. The night was still good, but not as good as before she uttered those words. Even though I feel that I do deserve her poor memory for not going to her place as often as I could. Still, I can't take it lightly. It just made me think how I could have been devastated if the person who forgot me was part of my nuclear family. As the moon soared higher into the sky, the cotillion (some kind of dance for a lady's debut or 18th birthday) was presented. Before, I thought that I would be able to escape viewing my cousin Ranya's debut. Not quite. I was able to get a glimpse of it, partly through a purported request of lola for them to perform a repeat. Sigh. Before we left, I'd like to tell you of my mother's grand ability and for which I readily tell anybody that she is the best mommy. And what is this? It is her capability to bring home huge amounts of food, especially from a relative celebration of a memorable event. She had many clear plastic containers with her for the various food types she expected to be given. These include kare-kare, lumpiang shanghai, kalamay, spaghetti, chocolate, leche flan, etc. Would you imagine that?! Only the pastor reportedly got more, with a sample from every foodstuff that there was. And so we went home and as I do remember, we didn't tell anyone that we were leaving. We rode a jeepney to Baclaran. According to the driver's aide, the fare from our starting point to our destination was 16 pesos per person. My father gave her a 100-peso bill; we should have received a change of 52 pesos instead of 54 pesos. My parents did not correct the woman about the mistake. I, too. Tsk, tsk. Maybe it was a sheer case of laziness or my father thought of it as a form of senior citizen or student discount that we should have availed ourselves, which we didn't do. Probably, it's because also of that same dull dose of laziness. Humph. At Baclaran, we rode a taxi all the way to our house in Cubao, Quezon City. When we got home, Ate Nadia was allegedly sleeping but when the hour of Pinoy Big Brother came, we all witnessed Sam's visitor. Good day.

End: 12:34 A.M. of 7 November 2005

Almo's death

The newest addition to our cat family, Almuranas, more popularly known as Almo, died. My father claimed responsibility for his premature death. According to Papa, Almo died because of overeating. He fed him exorbitant amounts of the insides of fish. He didn't control Almo's voracious appetite. And so the young Almo went into hiding. Alas, it was already late when my father found him. Almo was hiding under a push cart, breathing his last few breaths. And so Almo died and my father included him to the garbage for that day. It was only recent that I learned that he died.

To all the cats (and kittens) that I have met in my brief life, I would have to say that Almo's face was the most angelic and human-like. I really wanted you to become my pet. And for the brief time that we shared together as friends, I would like to thank you for the joy and the inspiration you've given me. Your existence raised my respect for cats, at least in being themselves and as beings of the Creator.

Note: If you don't know, the kitten Almo had Almuranas, or we perceived him to have a condition analogous to it, to which we named him.

Load Dilemma

I currently have a load dilemma. Given the conflicts in schedule of courses offered in this coming second semester of the 2005-2006 academic year in UP Diliman, I can only have a maximum of 17 units composed of 3 major (Bio 101, 120, and 150) and 2 non-major subjects (PI 100 and possibly Math 2). My preenlistment results show that I was only able to get 10 units composed 3 subjects, namely, Bio 101, Bio 120, and PI 100. Thus, I would like to tell the possible scenarios of the next 5 months of my life, affecting my life in an uncertain way.
1. I get what I want, 17 units with the PI 100 and Math 2 in their respective schedules, 1:00-2:30 P.M. and 2:30-4:00 P.M. Happiness: 10!
2. 17 units but without Math 2. Another RGEP-MST replaces it. Happiness: 9!
3. 17 units but without any RGEP-MST subject. RGEP-Non-MST replaces it. RGEP-Non-MST will not be credited. Action done to prevent the repercussion of underload. Happiness: 8!
4. 14 units without any MST. Underload! Happiness: 7!
5. 14 units without PI 100. Slot in PI 100 cancelled to accommodate laboratory class in Bio 150. Happiness: 6!

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

Today, I was able to finish the GBA game Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. You may ask me, "Joel, why bother play a pathetic game?" I'd answer you: "Because I was able to relate somehow with Marche, the main character of the game." He was shy and aloof. In the real world, he was never able to assert himself towards other people. On the other hand, in the make-believe world, the circumstances made him become a stronger person and this, in turn, made me believe in myself. I was able to realize that I was fooling myself with my games and if, and only if, I want to achieve something tangible, then I would have to give up everything that was closer to the negative.

Indecision

The cult of indecision has taken over me.
I know that this must be banished some how, some way, and some time in the future.
For most of my life, I have blamed myself for all the inauspicious things that happened to my life.
For not being a good student of history, I paid at a very high price.
In the recent past, I have thought of not having any children.
Before, I thought that having deep feelings for a woman for whatever desirable qualities they may possess, specifically physical beauty, is sinful and is a sign of weakness.
How can I ever attain transcendence without rejecting everthing that is worldly?
But in the course of my genetics and evolution studies, I learned that fitness includes both the physical and reproductive aspects of the being.
And of all the things, I want to take part in the next world.
Even though I might not be present physically, my line would continue and aid in shaping the far days that would come.

Break

I have been thinking lately that I was abusing myself mentally and physically by playing computer games all day and watching television. I've decided to take a break. "For how long?" you might ask. I don't know.

An Addict Gamer?

Are you an addict gamer? Wasting your time playing for hours? Don't fret 'coz I have a solution for you! You should search the Internet to search for walkthrough and spoilers. They would definitely help you to lose eagerness in playing the game. That's for sure!

Comparing ourselves

"Comparing ourselves to others is the only way to measure our existence." -- Rictor Lasanti, Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis

Martial Law

"As of the twenty-first of the this month (21 October 2005), I place the entire Joel under martial law."

Pagkakapareho

Andami pala naming pagkakapareho ni Raffy, isang sa mga naging kaklase ko sa LSGH.
1. negtink
2. mas
3. krashonpersnwpersnemsr
4. atbp.
5. pcadik

GMA is my idol

Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is my idol. Forget about the political backlashes her government is being immersed in. As for the economic reforms instituted and hopefully will be continued by her successors. I hope that she finishes her term as President of the Republic of the Philippines. If not, then at least she should get a graceful exit. Last night I was able to watch a special TV program which has GMA, DTI Secretary Peter Favila, and BSP Deputy Governor Diwa Gunigundo in it. The reforms are definitely seen to make the Philippines competitive again in the Asian economic scene. Even though she, herself, is a politician, there is still some truth in her words: Tigilan na ang sobrang pamumulitika. Kung mabuti-buti na ang ekonomiya, paano pa kaya kung mabawas-bawasan ang sobrang pamumulitika?" Gloria, I have nothing but salutes for you, the greatest president the Philippines ever had.

The Biology 102 feeling

This is definitely a first. For the first time in my college life, I settled for a class card grade of 3 for my course, Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy. Yes, this seems odd to my high school classmates. Biology is definitely my waterloo, alongside English. I hate this feeling. I need to study more. I feel guilty for almost failing the subject. My parents do work hard to raise me as a good citizen and member of God's community. My Aunt Mary has been selfless all this years in giving financial and emotional support to our family. I'd absolutely be a fool to give up now. The event calls for a major reform in my lifestyle. A good mind, heart, and soul are needed if I want to actually be able to pull through with the hurdles in my front. God, please bless me for I have sinned against You and my neighbors. I'm no longer worthy to be called one of your sons. I seek Your forgiveness. Forever I shall seek Thy ways.

Denial

"Denial is one of the monsters humans have learned to hang onto. What they don't know is it is eating them inch by inch." -- Joel Duque

Pinoy Ako

Pinoy Ako
by Orange And Lemons

Lahat tayo mayroon pagkakaiba
madalang makikita na
Ibat ibang kagustuhan ngunit iisang patutunguhan
Gabay at pagmamahal ang hanap ko
Pagbibigay ng halaga sa iyo
Nais mong ipakilala kung sino ka man talaga?

Chorus:
Pinoy ikaw pinoy
Ipakita sa mundo
Kung ano ang kaya mo
Ibang-iba pinoy
Wag kang matatakot
Ipagmalaki mo pinoy ako
Pinoy tayo

Ipakita mo ang tunay at sino ka?
Mayroon masasama at maganda
Wala naman perpekto
Basta magpakatotoo oohh...oohh...
Gabay at pagmamahal ang hanap mo
Pagbibigay ng halaga sa iyo
Nais mong ipakilala kung sino ka man talaga?

(repeat chorus)

Talagang ganyan ang buhay
Dapat ka nang masanay
Wala rin mangyayari
Kung laging nakikibagay
Ipakilala ang iyong sarili
Ano man sa iyo mangyayari
Ang lagi mong iisipin
Kayang kayang gawin

(repeat chorus)

Binaha kami

Binaha kami kanina, mga hapon iyon. Nakakapagod, kahit na papaano ang pagtataas ng mga gamit na maaaring mabasa at pangongolekta ng tubig mula sa sahig upang 'pabagalin' ang patuloy na pagpasok at pagtaas ng lebel ng tubig sa loob ng bahay na aming inuupahan dito sa Quezon City. Dalawa lang kami ni Papa kanina. Sina Mama at Ate Nadia ay nasa kani-kanilang eskwelahan. Dapat naming paghandaan ang ganitong mga pangyayari para sa susunod, hinding-hindi na kami gaanong mahirapan. Kailangan din naming magbawas ng mga gamit at magtapon ng mga basurang nakakalat lamang sa loob ng aming bahay. Hindi naging sapat ang sementadong harang na ginawa ni Papa. May mga sira ito sa gilid. Ang tubig ay pumasok din mula sa ginawang tubo ng tubig at mula sa sahig ng maliit na kwarto. Sana huwag na kaming pasukin muli ng baha. Ang baho ng tubig at nakakatakot na mabasa ang sari-sari naming mga kagamitan. Mag-aaral na nga akong mabuti.

Confidence

Dapat akong maging confident. Hindi ako dapat mahiya dahil sa aking mga kasiraan:
1. katabaan;
2. 'kapangitan';
3. 'masasamang bisyo/gawain';
4. katamaran;
5. kahirapan;
6. 'kabobohan'; at
7. kamunduhan
...dahil ako ay naapektuhan na sa mga sumusunod na mga kaparaanan:
1. mabababang marka;
2. kaisipang hindi ako matitipuhan o magiging kaibigan ng ibang mga tao, lalung-lalo na ng mga magagandang kaedad kong Pilipina; at
3. pagiging mainggitin.

Sigh

Yehey! Tapos na aking kalbaryo, tapos na ang mga eksaminasyon ko. Well, almost. Hindi pa sure kung pasado na ako sa Biology 102 kasi sa Lunes pa lalabas ang mga resulta. Exempted ako sa Biology 140! Ang saya. Kahit na papaano, mayroon naman akong naieksempt na sabjek.

Athletes and the state of a country

"The performance of the athletes of a country reflects the overall state of that country. This stems from the fact that such country needs to support them so as to be competitive in the international scene." -- Joel Duque

Necessitates war

"The unequitable access and control of the world’s resources among peoples necessitate a war." -- Joel Duque

4th Quarter Evaluation

assignments
I. monday
1. bio 102 lab - review circulatory system
2. bio 115 lec - powerpoint presentation editing (shorten it)
3. bio 115 - finish plates
II. tuesday
1. physics 72.1 - mock exam
2. geog 1 - volcanoes powerpoint presentation
- banahaw reaction paper
- seminar reaction paper (world war II)
- paper on biophysics and people of uplb
3. bio 140 lec - read 2 articles
4. bio 140 lab - finish group exercises
III. wednesday
1. bio 102 lab - 5th long exam

Kanino ko iaalay?

'Yan ang matinding tanong na siyang namumutawi sa aking mumunting isip. Kanino ko iaalay ang aking pagsisikap at paghihirap sa aking pang-araw-araw na buhay? Hindi ko alam. Sa tingin ko nga'y nagiging sakim na ako dahil hindi ko na kinikilala na ang estado ang siyang nagpapaaral sa akin sa prestihiyosong Unibersidad ng Pilipinas. Ang pamilya ko rin ay hindi. Napakasakim ko talaga. Ang aking Panginoon, na aking iniwan, ay wala. Naging malusog na taniman na ako ng karimlan. Ang aking magiging pamilya sa panghinaharap ay sadyang malabo. Siguro ganito na lang: "Pipilitin kong mabuhay kahit na walang dahilan 'pagkat ako'y umaasang magkakaroon ng dahilan ang lahat ng ito sa wakas ng panahon, maging wala akong nalalaman ukol dito." -- Joel Duque

Ngayon, alam ko na

Masasabi ko na talagang mahal ako ng aking ama dahil parati niya akong pinapaalalahanan sa tuwinang ako ay nagmamalabis sa paglalaro gamit ang aming personal computer sa bahay. Ang pagmamahal na ito ay hindi matatawaran at hindi maaaring ikumpara sa anumang kalokohang 'pag-ibig' na karaniwan ko ng nakikita sa araw-araw kong panonood ng telebisyon.

Bogsa

Masarap matulog
Lalo na kung 'ka'y bogsa

Memoir of a mental patient

She's a poor writer. I'm a poor reader. She's helpless. I'm tired. She's not a princess. I'm not a prince. She's not hot. I'm hot. She's has four eyes. I have three. She temporal. I'm forever. Should I go for her? No!

Interesting facts about Joel

innovator; entrepreneur; spark in the midst of darkness; the intelligent and industrious worker; one that persists; spring of sobriety; well-rested; gift of private ownership; passion- and profit-driven; intermediate player; consistent; risk-taker

Empire Building

Joel Duque's empire building scheme is commencing.

Bothered

Nababader ako kasi parang ilang sa akin yung PMHS buddy kong si Kris. Di niya maintidihan kung bakit hindi ako tumatambay o kung bakit hindi ako makatambay. Isa pa, parang hindi niya masabi sa akin kung ano ang bumabalisa sa kanya.

I believe

I believe in God. I truly do.

Alcohol

"No amount of alcohol can drain out the feeling of a love lost." -- Joel Duque

Looking back

I have wasted a lot of time writing about what I uprightly call false love. No more of this nonsense!

Cheese #2

"If only I could make my life not revolve around you, then I would be a much happier person." -- Joel Duque

Cheese #1

"How do I let go knowing that you're still here and the probability that you and will be together is not equal to zero?" -- Joel Duque

Paradise City

Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Oh won't you please take me home
Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Take me home
Oh won't you please take me home
Just an urgin’ livin' under the street hard case that's tough to beat
I'm your charity case so buy me somethin' to eat
I'll pay you at another time
Take it to the end of the line
Rags to riches or so they say ya gotta keep pushin' for the fortune and fame
It's all a gamble when it's just a game ya treat it like a capital crime
Everybody's doing their time
Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Oh won't you please take me home
Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Take me home
Strapped in the chair of the city's gas chamber
Why I'm here I can't quite remember
The surgeon general says it's hazardous to breathe
I'd have another cigarette but I can't see
Tell me who you're gonna believe
Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Take me home heartache me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Oh won't you please take me home
So far away so far away so far away so far away
Captain America's been torn apart
Now he's a court jester with a broken heart
He said, “Turn me around and take me back to the start
I must be losin' my mind."

Notes on History

"History is created by humans in its entirety." -- Joel Duque

What I stated above is true. That's the reason why governments and influential people give history its due importance. Leaders have done everything, to the best of their ability, to change parts of it which they don't like or despise completely. You ask how? It's simple. They use whatever means they have at hand to change the way it written through different tools -- money, influence, force, etc. Name it, they have it! I like to end this short essay of mine by giving a concrete example. Did you know in Japan, the Japanese government allowed the handing out of textbooks which purportedly downplays Japanese atrocities? That's according to the Chinese people. These even created tensions and bilateral backfires threatening the supposed goodwill that was developing between China and Japan. What's the truth of the matter? I don't know. I'm a Filipino. And even if I were a Chinese or Japanese, I still wouldn't know. I wasn't born before the 1940's to have actually experienced wartime movements and actions. I just don't want to believe everything said to my face with their face value. That's all.

Asexual

"I'm asexual and so are you." -- Joel Duque

Jeepney

Breezing through the street
Always shaking right and left
Ever travelling

Skyflakes wrapper

A Skyflakes wrapper
Gently rolling down the street
Light, forever crazy

Nonphysical power physically defined

"Power is the capability to transport protons, neutrons, and electrons with ease." -- Joel Duque

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

"Nothing but a fantastic movie." -- Joel Duque

That't what can I after not having read the novel from which it was based. Eddie (Maintenance) was the lead character. It was by this name that he was wrongfully called by children. He worked in Ruby Pier for most of his life. What fascinated me was that the story started with the end. I quote, "His death was only the beginning. He died in a freak accident by telling the people to go away from a risky place and ultimately by pushing a young girl. In his death, he didn't knew whether or not he was able to save her. All he knew was he felt he able to pull someone's hands.

And so the story began. He had to meet five people in heaven to explain things in his life on earth which he did not understand. First, he met a blue man from Algeria. Eddie was indirectly involved in the man's death. In his youth, Eddie was playing in the street and so the man, while driving his black car, avoided him and so died. Second, there was his officer who shot his leg. To be continued. I'm sleepy.

Unfounded

"Never put your trust in something that is unfounded." -- Joel Duque

Kapag patay na ako

Kapag patay na ako,
Iyon ang pagkakataong
Ako'y mamahalin mo

Kung wala na ako
Saka ka manghihinayang

'Di mo ba pansin
Ngayon ako'y iyong
Isinasantabi
Habang nariyan ang
Katotohanang ako ay
Nararapat mo lamang na
Kalingain at gabayan?

Siguro masyado pang
Maaga para ito ay
Iyong makita

Siguro nga

Changing Courses

"Decide quickly and be firm in your decision." -- Joel Duque

Game Theory

"Game Theory should not take out the entrepreneurial spirit in you. Just do not forget that in every enterprise there is a corresponding factor called risk." -- Joel Duque

Sleep

"The desire for sleep is one of those few things that turn into a need when it comes in short supply." -- Joel Duque

Physical attraction

"Physical attraction is not a determinant of love. Oftentimes, it is a manifestation of its absence." -- Joel Duque

Immortality

"Immortality does not guarantee fitness." -- Joel Duque

The physical illogic of love

Di ko talaga magetz kung bakit na iinlove ang mga tao sa isa't isa. Electrically neutral naman tayong lahat (most of the time). Yung distance naman usually sa mga tao ay malaki so kung susundin yung inverse square law, ang attraction between any two macroscopic bodies approaches zero. Ewan ko ba kung bakit nagkakacrush ako, kung iisipin namang mabuti e ang lahat ng tao ay gawa naman sa pare-parehong mga subatomic particles na protons, neutrons, at electrons.

Born to suffer

Suffering = Loving
To suffer = To love
"Without suffering, love does not exist." -- Joel Duque

The Theory of Remembering

"What one knows, one can forget. But what one does not know, one does not forget. Not forgetting is remembering. Therefore, the best way a person to remember is by not knowing." -- Joel Duque

Knowing nothing

"I take pride in knowing nothing." -- Joel Duque

Muntik na

Muntik na akong maging isang manggagahasa
Kung 'di lamang ako nagising ng maaga'y
marahil isa na akong pinatigas na kriminal
Pinapasuk-pasok ang aking ari sa puki ng
mga sinu-sinong mga babae

Ang aking pagkatao ay hindi mababaw
Hindi simple
Bagkus may lalim o malalim
'Pagkat mayroon akong dalawang mukha

Isang mabait, matalino, at gwapo
At isa namang masama, bobo, at pangit
Ngunit ngayon, ako'y nagbabago
Para sa saysay ng tanging totoo

Tanong

Ang sabi ng aking kabilang sarili: "Ba't mo ako ginasa? 'Yan tuloy, hindi na ako birhen."
Ang sabi ko sa kanya: "'Yan lamang ang nararapat sa iyo, maganda ka kasi e."
Siya: "Sapat ba iyon para ang isang kasuklam-suklam na bagay ay gawin mo sa akin?"
Ako: "Oo."

Ang tanda ko na pala

'Yan, yan ang aking napag-isip-isip sa aking ika-19 na kaarawan. Naging napakasaya ng pagdiriwang ng naturang kaganapan ngayong taong ito dahil sa mga sumusunod na mga kadahilanan:
1. pagpatak ng ika-12 ng hatinggabi, kinantahan at tinulaan ako nina Papa, Mama at Ate Nadia, sabay handog ng kanilang mumunting cake
2. bumati si Chard sa aking ng maligayang bati sa puntong 11.58 ng gabi, ika-4 ng Agosto
3. walang klase sa Geography 1
4. nanlibre ako ng Goldilocks cake sa aking mga kasamahan sa organisasyong PMHS
5. kinantahan nila ako ng Happy Birthday
6. nasagot ko kung ano ang silbi ng tRNA sa Biology 140 (amino acids)
7. nakapagbonding kami ng aking buddy na si Kris (same outfit, kumain ng tigalawang stick ng quail eggs, at tinulungan siya sa ibang katanungang chismis sa kayang sigsheet, kasama na ang pagturo sa kanya ng ibang miyembro ng PMHS, binigyan ko pa nga siya ng aking schedule sa naturang semestre)
8. nilibre ko yung mga coursemates ko ng isang New York's Finest (18-inch) sa pamamagitan ng pagpapadala sa Yellow Cab nito sa Institute of Biology (Main Building)
9. lumabas kami ng aking pamilya tungong Gateway, ang bago at makabagong mall sa me Araneta Center upang panoorin ang gusto kong makita pelikulang The Eye: Infilinty. Isa siyang kwento ukol sa limang magkakaibigang sa una'y gustong makakita ng mga espiritu. Di kalaunan, nagkandaloko-loko ang kanilang mga buhay. At sa huli'y, puro na lamang sila nagsisisi sa kanilang pakikialam sa itim na mahika at panggagambala sa mga kaluluwa. Pareho siyang nakakatakot at nakatatawa. Panoorin niyo siya kung mayroon kayong libreng oras.
10. Nilibre kami niya Papa ng Junior Manok mula sa Mang Boks. Ang sarap!

Cheese

"I don't like things which are cheesy but I like cheese itself." -- Joel Duque

My love

My love, kiss me good night to night.
'Coz tomorrow I may be out of sight.
Can't you see I'm bleedin' to death?
Or are you just so full of sheath?

Feeling of Betrayal

Well, it's just sort of. For the following reasons:
1. The Membership Committee is the one responsible for assigning members what committee they'll belong. They assigned me to SCC, not Academics Committee which was my first choice.
2. The Membership Committee (or Finance Committee, not sure, or both) put me third to the last of the list of the Buddy Bidding. It was sad because I'm one of the few. It feels like my effort of coming to the event was in vain. Also, no applicant approached me to help him/her with his/her signature sheet.
Just want to let out my rants. They say it's healthy. I do believe them.

Bio 102

To my Bio 102 crush:

"I love you with all my heart, soul, my all, my entire being."
Well, don't believe the previous statement to much. My hypothalamus made me say it.

Ang lansangan

Nababagot
Nakalalagot ng hininga
Ugat-ugat
Puno ng sugat
Mahapding balat
Puno ng peklat
Nakahihilo
Sinlamig ng yelo
Ungol ng ungol
Tumigil ka na
Ayoko na
Ang gulo
Ng aking mundo
Haay
Buhay
Wala ang higaan
Ako'y kaawaan
Gustong sumingaw
Ngunit bawal humiyaw
Parang iniihaw
Ngunit giniginaw
Ang lansangan
Sadyang ganyan
Ang 'yong gusto
Hindi wasto

Paghihintay #2

Tumitigin-tingin
Lumilingon-lingon
Tumititig
Pumipintig

Kailan kaya darating?
Kailan ba makararating?
Sana'y magsimula na
Sana'y matapos din

Paggawa ng Kabuktutan

Nanlalabo ang paningin
Abuso...pang-aabuso
Sobrang pagpupuyat
Pagbababad sa laro

Genetic curiousity

How much would you invest/pay a person of the opposite sex to marry you or have children with you? Is there any significant difference between the two instances? Oh, how hard has life become! With the current inflation rate, I wonder how much I would invest to have a complementary partner. That's why I have to built myself up mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Beautiful Women and Ovaltine

What do beautiful women and Ovaltine have in common? They're too sweet to be enjoyed. You'd surely be overpowered just by taking a taste.

Lolo Dayong

ika-9 ng Hulyo, 2005
Kamamatay lang ni Lolo Dayong. Siya ang aking lolo mula sa panig ng aking ina. Ayaw ko sanang pumunta sa Cavite upang bisitahin ang kanyang bangkay subalit ako'y napasang-ayong sumama o napilitan sa kadahilanang ang aking buong mag-anak ay laban sa aking hindi pagpunta. Dagli akong naligo at maggagabi na nang nakaalis kami rito sa bahay. Makalipas ang ilang minuto, nakasakay rin kami ng taxi sa bandang harap ng Crame. Nabigla ang drayber ng sabihin naming sa Cavite ang aming tuloy. Sa palagay ko, gusto niya sanang umangal pero hindi niya ito ginawa, marahil, dahil ito sa hiya. Isang mahalagang bagay ang nangyari sa loob ng sasakyan habang ang aking buong pamilya, binubuo ng apat na miyembro, ay nasa loob ng sasakyan. Natuloy na rin, sa wakas, ang opisyal na miting ng buong mag-anak o ang Duque Family Meeting. Ang mga sari-saring isyu ay napag-usapan at humigit-kumulang ay naresolba. Pagdating namin doon, kami ay namano sa aming mga nakatatanda, hindi nga lang sa lahat. Natatakot akong tignan ang lolo. Ngayon lang kasi ako dadalo sa isang bangkay na may natatandaan ukol sa patay. Naupo muna ako. Uli, ako ay nakumbinse ng aking Ate Nadia. Sabi niya, tumayo daw kami sa harap ng kabaong at mag-alay ng ilang dasal. Sabi ko sa kanya ng una, natatakot ako. Ipinaalam ko rin sa kanyang kung maaari bang mamaya na lang kami lumapit. Ngunit sa huli, ako rin ang bumigay. Habang nagdadasal, ilang mga bagay ang aking naisip:
1. Salamat lolo dahil sa iyong genes (at ni lola) na gumawa kay mama
2. salamat sa pag-aalaga kay mama.
3. paano na kaya sa lola
4. paano na kayang ang pamilyang tolentino, magkakawatak-watak na kaya sila?
5. ipinagdasal ko ang kanyang kaluluwa, nawa'y pumunta siya sa langit.
6. nawa'y gabayan niya kami.
7. sayang, hindi ko naipakita ang aking pagmamahal (at paggalang sa kanya)
8. sayang, hindi ako naging malapit sa kanya.
Noong nakaupo nanaman ako, naisip ko kung bakit malungkot kapag may namamatay. Ito sa dahil sa isang kadahilanan: sa payak na katotohanang hindi na mamaaring mamuhay sa mundong ibabaw ang pumanaw. Pilit kong itinatanggi ang kanyang kamatayan. Totoo nga ang sabi nila: "Ipakita na ang iyong pagmamahal habang siya ay buhay pa." Mahirap din tingnan ito sa positibong pananaw. Mahirap maging masaya kung ang pagbabatayan ang pananaw na muli siyang sasanib sa kanyang Panginoon at Manlilikha. Siguro dahil sa tayo'y ganib, laging hindi handa, at makasarili. itutuloy ko sa susunod.

To be a biologist

Being a BS Biology student is a prerequisite to being a true biologist. It's not as 'easy' as my 1st and 2nd years. Now, I feel that I am at the brink of failing badly. I have to quit doing unimportant things right now. Sleepy Joel want to get very good grades. I'm not gonna fail. 'Coz I'm going to shine. No one can stop me, not even you. I'm not jealous at intelligent people anymore. For this time, I'll be one of them. Someday, who knows? Help me God. For without You, my life is a failure. Life is such a messy mess. Good night slaves. Tomorrow, I'll set you free.

Hurrah

Yeah! It feels good to get a perfect score in a quiz in Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy Laboratory (10/10). Now that's what I call bliss incarnate!!!

Rule #1

Don't do it if you don't (+ verb/verb phrase here).

Semestral GWA

Pick a semestral GWA you wish to achieve.

1.00 = 21/21
1.04 = 22/21
1.10 = 23/21
1.14 = 24/21
1.19 = 25/21
1.24 = 26/21
1.28 = 27/21
1.33 = 28/21
1.38 = 29/21
1.43 = 30/21
1.48 = 31/21
1.52 = 32/21
1.57 = 33/21
1.62 = 34/21
1.67 = 35/21
1.71 = 36/21

Pray hard and study well. Always smile.

Pantasya

Ewan ko ba kung bakit isang gabi, habang pinagpapantasyahan ko ang mga magagandang babae, pumasok sa makitid kong kokote ang ganitong uri ng mga katanungan: "Lahat o marami kayang mga lalaki ang nagpapantasya sa gabi, bago matulog, ukol sa mga kababaihang sa tingin nila'y makapagpapahinga sa nagpupumiglas nilang libog?" at "Ang mga babae kaya ay kasinlilibog ng mga lalaki?" Wala lang. Nais ko lamang magbigay ng mga bagay na mapagninilay-nilayan ang mga taong may malilikot na kaisipan at madaling makiliti.

Ulan, kidlat, kulog at dilubyo

Ayaw kong umulan. Tuwing umuulan, ang aking buong pamilya ay nangangamba sa pagbaha. Oo, isa lang maralita ang aking mag-anak. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit hindi kami makaalis-alis sa binabahang bahay-paupahang ito. Alam niyo, kahit na gusto kong masuspindi ang klase dahil sa hindi ako handang pumasok sa paaralan, hindi lubusan ang aking tuwa kung ito ay dahil sa ulan, kidlat, kulog at dilubyo.

Late summary and academics

Why late summary? It is because this should have been done one to two days ago. Do you remember that I promised to update this blog of mine weekly during weekends. Why wasn't I able to do it? I indulged in playing Warcraft here in my beautiful hometown, Quezon City (not actually a town as you can see). On the last day before this day, Sunday, I made a chart regarding the diversity of craniates and plant taxonomy. There exists several repercussions of my actions: failing the Biology 102 lab quiz (3/15) and the Biology 115 lab quiz (6/12). I think that blaming will not help much.

And so it is in this light that I think of my Biology 102 lecture classmate--the object of my infatuation. She's nothing but an artificial avenue for putting forth my true and ulterior motive: to have a semestral general weighted average of 1.33 for the first semester of the current academic year. I have decided not to join UP ABM. Well, just not yet. I have decided that when I join another organization, I will make sure that I am in a generally stable academic and social condition.

Eye strain

"Blindness due to complete eye strain is not worth it." -- Joel Duque

I feel a feeling

I feel a feeling which has caught my attention
This is about a situation
to which I've no position
to get recognition
from you, my passion
overflows my libation
to the point of masturbation
cannot fake anymore excitation
I'm just in proposition
of the domination
that rules the condition
You are my ambition
To that, there is no question
Your callipygian notion
has become the potion
to which I am bewitched
Oh, where are the cloves of garlic?

Am I lucky or what?

Look at what I saw on Friendster today:

Clicking on 'read more...' shows:

It's plainly undeniable that something great is brewing for me.

Choosing a mate?

Click the title above to check out the wonderful essay contained therein.

Heart ache, sliding, and fun

While walking inside Palma Hall, I was suddenly saddened by a sentence which popped on my mind. It particularly goes like this: "Enough, Joel, Enough. You have already bled enough." How sad! Isn't it? That line goes for my former crush (or more formally: the object of my infatuation). However, however how emotional I am, there is a counter-argument present for such claim: 'How can someone such as I hurt a lot when it's not the case that I've gotten close her. I was never close enough to touch her hand or hair. More so, I have not been able to talk with her. I think, as what I think my professor has thought of me, that I'm too assuming. Well, it only goes to show that I deserve that for having an imaginative mind--so imaginative to the point of taking for granted true relationships and being contended with pleasuring thyself. Also, another thing came to mind: It is impossible for one to have a heart ache without having heart disease--or maybe I have one. I have a high risk of getting diabetes because it is in the family, I am obese, I don't exercise regularly, and I get tired and thirsty right away.

I don't want to sound real bad, so I'll continue with my plan. Next on the agenda is sliding. After my Physics 72 class, I rushed to the Third World Studies Library which is where the concerned photocopying machine was. Unfortunately, the manang/saleswoman/tender wasn't present. Maybe she was having her lunch break, after all it was about 12:40 P.M. An important lesson presents itself here: "Everyone needs a break--even you and I." And so it was the case that I returned there after my Biology 140 (Genetics) class. At approximately 2:35 P.M., I returned and was able to obtain the four-paged handout for PhP 3. In connection with this, I also got myself handouts from my Geography 1 class for PhP 37.50. I didn't care whether or not it was my professor's assignment. The photocopy man said it was the required reading by another professor (but also of the same course). In line with this I went to the UP Shopping Center so as to inquire why the book E.D. Merrill PhP 350. I expected it to cost only PhP 179.75 [(479 pages) * (1 page photocopied material per 2 pages original material) * (PhP 0.50 per page) + PhP 60 for the hard binding]. The storekeeper explained the cost to me: [(479 pages) * (1 page photocopied material per 1 page original material) * (PhP 0.60 per page) + PhP 60 for the hard binding] = PhP 347.4 (approximately PhP 350). The moral lesson is one should ask himself questions before having any form of commitment. So much for the computations. Enough, Joel, enough. (Laughs.) Let's go back to sliding. It was the case that I wanted to overtake people in front of me who were chatting with companions and so were slow. (They somehow blocked my way.)

Finally, after sliding, there's fun. Sigh, it was a good thing that I didn't get my buttocks dirty with mud since it is currently the rainy season here in the Philippines. I love the feeling of having that extra boost within me. I like that carefree feeling when doing just about anything. The positive disposition is so good that is refreshing. Well, this has been a night for me and I hope that like me, you'll have this wonderful outlook that I have. Good luck to your studies, your relationships, and your life.

Will

You ask yourself: "How far am I going to go?" I say: "It depends on your answer on the question: "How far are you willing to go?" -- Joel Duque

I don't know you either

I want to learn what love is all about.
I wanna do away all feelings of infatuations.
It's just so unnatural.
Just like being an asexual.

Fits the type of Joel.
The lonely wanderer of this planet.
I'd die to have someone walk with me
through the hardships and toils.

Who said it would be easy
as a walk in a park?
Who made you believe
that you were a god?

Things like these happen
when you're too confident.
It's like betting and losing everything
--All in a single night.

The dawn fails to arrive.
No, just not yet.
Time stops, or so it seems to.
Stuck in embarrassment.

But still I go on.
Caring little of other things.
What's important is today.
I shouldn't fail.

The temporal is limited
to what time had dictated.
I know you worry not a bit for me.
I understand; I don't know you either.

Kung alam mo lamang

Mahirap kita'y aking iwan
Ngunit ito lang ang nalalaman kong paraan
Upang ikaw ay di ko masaktan
Alam ko ang iyong nararamdaman
Panibugho ng karimlan
Magpakailanman ang araw ay di sisikat sa silangan
'Pagkat lahat ng pag-asa'y naglaho na
At ako'y naiwang nag-iisa rito sa aking upuan

Excited

I feel excited about going back to school. The hardships. They rock my world. The sheer challenge of memorization. Can you keep up with them? Sure, why not? It's not going to be easy. It's not going to be hard either. My mission is not impossible. I have to do my part. I like to do it. Time to go out. Prove myself. Summer vacation's over. Gotta face it. Life is not about playing. It's about learning. Got only one choice. And that's to prove my professors wrong. Overcome the odds. Moment of truth is here. Don't wanna be left alone in the dust. 'Coz my place is here.

Contact them now (I don't want to curse)

Contact the alumni. They need to know about the event. I know too that you need to study. Let's help each other. Do it. (Unless of course you want to die today.) Don't waste your time. Start it now. Don't get yourself tired. That's it.

Tamad

Yep, yep. That's right. I was adjudged "tamad" or lazy. Paano ba naman, umaga, hapon, gabi at hatinggabi ako kung maglaro ng kompyuter. Hindi ako tumutulong sa mga gawaing bahay sa aming bahay. Nawa'y may maipayo kayo sa akin.

Kainis

Bakit ganoon? Ba't hindi ako natanggap bilang Academics Committee member ng PMHS. Siguro dahil bobo na ako. Siguro dahil preperensiya nila yung mga nakakuha ng matataas na mga marka sa nakaraang semestre. Ganoon ha! Aba, tila'y sinusubukan nila ang aking kakayahan. Pangako ko, mag-uUniversity Scholar ako sa darating na dalawang mga semestre. Isa lang talaga ang dapat kong tandaan: Biology is part of Economics. Anlabo ba? Sorry na lang kung hindi niyo nakuha. Hindi ko iyan ipaliliwanag.

Advice needed

I have a dilemma. Should I or shouldn't I apply at ABM for membership. Honestly, it was the organization which I really considered joining. I don't know it will have a major conflict on my PMHS membership. Not only that, it will be the 50th anniversary of the organization -- PMHS, that is. I have many wants such as being a University Scholar for the 1st Semester of the 2005-2006 Academic Year in UP Diliman. Sigh.

Lider

Tumigil ka sa pagkakamali
Gumawa ka ng tama
'Pagkat ang kinabukasa'y
Nasa 'yong kamay.

Itigil na ang pagluha
Itigil na ang pagwawala
Mayroong bukas na masaya
Makalawa'y nariyan ang grasya.

Kaingitan ang iba'y bawal
Dahil ikaw ay isang kawal
Handang lumaban
Para sa bayan.

Tapos noon 'ka'y aangat
Huwag ka lang lilingat
Ang buhay ay puno
Ng lahat kung pangulo.

Consistent Desire

My treatise as of the 18th of May 2005 is such:

I propose a new theory that shall be called "The Theory of Consistent Desire." One must not combat desire for it is but a natural feeling, a natural tendency of human beings. Why most of us fail is because we do not push ourselves to be the best we can be, having our desires/passions or whatever you may want to call it.

Gusto

May gusto ako sa isa nating kaklase sa Bayokemistri. Katukayo niya yung isa ko pang binibining nitipuhan rin sa isa kong pampalakasang asignatura. Sa mga nakakaalam o may ideya. Manahimik na lang kayo. Akin lang siya. Hindi-hindi ako makapapayag na siya'y agawin mo sa akin. Magkikita kami sa UPPGH kapag pareho na kaming nag-aaral ng Medisina.

Culture of Death

Yes, that's right. If you don't want to live the right life, then be in front of your computer 24/7! Stupid hobby! Don't study your lessons. Always fantasize about women sleeping with you. Don't excercise. Make sure that you fail all your exams. Stalk on other people. Curse everybody. Hate the world. Believe that there is no God. Waste all your time and energy on doing unnecessary things. Have a lonely heart. Be a pessimist. Ride a tank and flatten them with it. Kill all those who resist. Be on your own. Don't trust others. Think about it. Become fixated with it. Live it. Don't become the president of the Philippines. Do a Simoun. Befriend the Satan. Kiss him. Have sex with him. Do things which will glorify him. Go to hell! Fuck you! Why are you reading this? Motherfucker! Son of a bitch! Say all of those bad words. Study all of the evil books. Believe in Dan Brown's book. Forget all goodness. Make time go like never ever. Don't die. Don't die if it's not through suicide. Maximize the evil you can do. Explore other habitable lands and spread badness there. Complete everything. Perfect everything. Don't stop. Don't get tired. Exercise yourself. Count one to negative infinity. Start now. Come back to me when you've finished.

Darling of the Crowd

It's such a weird sounding award for me. That's because I associate darling with girls or females. I'm definitely not one. I'm not that proud of getting it two times, during the Protein Rap and Lipidonovela. I would have been happier if I had gotten higher scores in the Biochemistry examinations. It is for this reason that I feel than I'm just a lowly clown, just there to entertain other people. If could choose, then I would live the life of an intelligent, sculpted, and well-rounded man -- not a man with a round stomach.

Yoko

Ayaw ko ng yellow. It's such a bright color. The Eastern people. They shouldn't be here in the Philippines. Filipinos are much more superior than them. Iba ata ang Pinoy!

To fall or not to fall

That is the current question in my mind. I do know what's best for me. I have a choice; it wasn't discounted for a jiffy. Stop wasting time and don't fall. Don't fail. This is only once and the time is now. The real world is harsher than what it seems. Become one of the top five in the third exam in biochemistry. Success can only be achieved when you really try, of course unless when I am a genius, which is not the case. This is not about love. It's much more than that. I am a future leader of this country. I'm just not sure if I'll be a political, economic, or cultural leader. I mustn't miss this chance. There are many enemies I have to trample on. And for sure, it cannot be the case that I'm the one stepped upon.

Death

"Death only comes once in a lifetime. Enjoy it." -- Joel Duque

True happiness

"True happiness can't be found outside for it lies within." -- Joel Duque

Passion

"When passion got the best of you, it's not passion anymore -- it's obsession." -- Joel Duque

Too much

"Too much isn't just good enough." -- Joel Duque

Biochemistry

"I love biochemistry, and I'll prove it to you." -- Joel Duque

Improvement

"We are imperfect beings. That being the case, there will always be room for improvement." -- Joel Duque

To my stalker

You could burn in hell, for all I care!

Future Thinker

I always think of the past and present so I become lax and relax. So starting now, I will think of the future. That way, when the future becomes the present and eventually the past, I will feel true happiness and contentment.

Making Friends

I am having trouble at making true friends. I do have associates, but I feel that's not enough. Can anybody tell me what seems to be the problem?

Transcendence

"Transcendence is my goal in life." -- Joel Duque

Unexamined life

"The unexamined life is still worth living." -- Joel Duque

To You

You, you, and you.
Why does it always have to be you?
It could've been her
Why you?

Of all people
Of all of them
Why?
I don't understand.

God,
Please enlighten me
So that I could reject
The devil's advocate.

My Mother

My mother is Liwanag Tolentino Duque. She is basically a good-natured person. She loves to watch TV shows. She often watches the programs of ABS-CBN. I love to debate with this woman. Whatever her side is, she always makes it a point to defend it until the end. Even though her successive statements are not very coherent, she doesn't or fails to care at all. I love my mother. She's a diabetic. Because of this, she's the weakest in our family. My family has a history of diabetes on her side. And so, she never fails to remind me that I have a huge chance of contracting the disease. Most of the time, I joke about it. Nevertheless, I fear it deep inside. She is a psychologist. Psychologists are often disparaged of solving other family's problems, only to fail in solving their own family problems. In this case, my family is not exempted. It is not perfect. But then, I can say that our family is strong. What binds us together is greater than you can imagine. We may fight even because of the slightest issues, but it is mostly limited to small ones. We don't let small things become big. And if they, by chance, do so, we don't let them get the better of us. Mama, as we do call her, has many friends. She does help them, even if it means that our family interests are sometimes compromised. She prints out Christian teachings of her non-Catholic friend, Rose. This is a cause of several arguments. She does believe that there is only one God. I also do. But if she should support God, she should do so in our Church, and not through other religions.

Democratic Republic of Congo (Zaire)

Tagged as biggest humanitarian crisis of this time, the war in Congo is very severe. Having the size of Western Europe, the country has immense environmental resources. The news says that there are seven warlords fighting for supremacy in the region. Also, surrounding countries are aggravating the situation. The women are being raped. Men and children have their organs carved out from their bodies. I heard that a man had his testicles sloughed off. A child murdered when the bandits took his heart out, literally. Can you just imagine that! They are interested in taking land and people from the huge country. Accordingly, people have been asking help from United Nations.

An African analyst was interviewed in a news program. One thing that really hit me was when he said that people in the UN just don't want to spend much to help them. He said, "If whites were massacred, then UN would deem it intolerable and would therefore take immediate action." Yes, I agree to the interviewee. I hope that we wouldn't be too indifferent to our fellowmen. After all, we are all created by one God and He is watching us all the time.

Burning

It is burning cold inside
So I went outside
There I saw many people
And a lovely couple

They seem happy
And look crazy
I walked to them
To see the gem

I greeted the lady, "Hello."
She said, "Aren't you a nice fellow!"
Then we left
Living the man bereft.

His Holiness's Death

He died. Why is it that almost all news channels have him as their content? Do you know how discontented I am? What if I rage into a drone riot? (Joel, go back to the topic.) The Pope, John Paul II, died on 2 April 2005. It was 3:37 A.M., Manila Standard Time. Born Karol Wojtyla, the Pole man lived in Wadowice, Poland. He lived with the Jewish Poles. He is celebrated as the Pope who was open to peoples of other religions. It's like saying that there's only one god, a Universal God. And, it is for this reason that I respect him. I know that the differences of our views are enormous. We have different views about the prohibition of priesthood to women and homosexuality. He claims that they are from evil or darkness. Nevertheless, I can't say that he is to be blamed. Just like any human, he lived in circumstances and environments which trigger him to respond in a certain way. It's just the case that in his case, those triggers made him Pope.

Three reasons why I am happy about his death:

• His suffering ended. He was doomed to die anyway. The disease that hit him most was the urinary tract infection he acquired. I think his aids had something to with aggravating his disease. The historical opaqueness of the Vatican is an evidence of my claim.
  
• I was able to predict the time of his death correctly. Two days before his death, I predicted that he'll die two days from the current day. True enough he died early morning last Sunday, 2 April 2005.
• They'll elect a new Pope. I will be able to know more about it. Since the year of my birth, 1986, he has always been the Pope. It's intriguing and interesting to have news regarding the election of the new Pope. Also, I want to see for new directions that the Church will choose, given the countless paths that are given to it.
  

Liberation Theology

liberation theology
belief that the Christian Gospel demands "a preferential option for the poor," and that the church should be involved in the struggle for economic and political justice in the contemporary world–particularly in the Third World. Dating to the Second Vatican Council (1962—65) and the Second Latin American Bishops Conference, held in Medellin, Colombia (1968), the movement brought poor people together in comunidades de base, or Christian-based communities, to study the Bible and to fight for social justice. Since the 1980s, the church hierarchy, led by Pope John Paul II, has criticized liberation theology and its advocates, accusing them of wrongly supporting violent revolution and Marxist class struggle.

I don't see anything wrong with having a preferential option for the poor. I believe that being poor means living in dehumanizing conditions. It is injustice. If God created all of us equal, then we should live so. Nothing's wrong with it! The Roman Catholic, therefore, needs some kind of rewiring to do. It's a sad thing that he is closed minded on having a Church which has a more active role on social justice. May he rest in peace. God bless his soul.

Awareness, Awareness, Awareness

During our family meetings, Papa reiterates the importance of awareness. And now, I fully understand why it is of utmost importance. This day, I have been careless; the result of which could've been grave.

When I was going to school this morning...
First, I paid the jeepney driver the student's fare, P4.50. But the, he said that I only paid him P3.50. In the end, I don't really know if I paid him the student's fare or the regular fare of P5.50. So much for that. In addition, I'm really annoyed whenever they, the jeepney drivers, get annoyed when I ask for student discount and the corresponding student fare.

In the first place, giving students discount when they ride public utility vehicles is stated in the laws. Second, they should not get a the route wherein they expect to encounter many students to be their passengers. Lastly, they should get irritated at us, students, for living the lives they desire. They're so pathetic and pitiful for having had slacked off at school. Poor creatures, they could have lived better lives, earned plenty of money, and had a grandiose mansion.

When I was coming from school this afternoon...
Second, while riding a jeepney from UP Diliman to Philcoa, I didn't notice that my purse fell to my side. It was good that there was this lady who honestly told me about it. She said, "Yung wallet mo." In reply, I startledly retorted, "Sorry." A more appropriate reply should've been: "Salamat." Third, as I rushed towards our apartment, there was a loose and hard material struck my hand. I'm lucky that it didn't got scratched or wounded.

Killing time

It's bad to kill time. That's why I'm stop doing it now. At once. Don't worry, I'll come back tomorrow afternoon.

Powerpets

This is really addicting. Anyway, join the fun.

Go to: http://www.powerpets.com/signup.asp?rfID=354700

Or click the picture below.



You'll have 5ooo powerbucks to start the game instead of the normal 1ooo powerbucks.

I'll be waiting for you!

Should be studying

I should be studying right now for my Biology 12 finals tomorrow. But then... I love this. Whatever. If you don't understand, it's your fault. It you misinterpret, it's your fault, not mine. It'll always be your fault. (Laughs out loud.) World domination begins at home.

Not quite true

It is often said that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe yes, maybe not. But I'm sire of one thing. That it does strengthen infatuation. When you desire someone, a girl for instance, you look forward to the moment that you'll be able to look at her, if a glance is not enough. And while you want for the next moment that you'll see her again, in your memory, she'll always be beautiful. It's not surprising because you have a crush on her. As time pass by, she'll even get sexier, thanks to your growing loneliness and craziness, your unstoppable emotions, not to mention your raging hormones. Most of the time, it doesn't go your way, the way you'd want it to end. Something in between goes wrong. For example, as a complete stranger, you stalked her, and she found it out. You, driven by your intense passion and wild dreams, tried to win her back but to no avail. Then, you, by some whimsical twist of fate, were able to get back on your senses, finally convinced yourself that it is statistically highly improbable that you'll be her friend, decided to call it quits. And by luck or misfortune, you get to see her once more. Sadly (or happily), she doesn't look that attractive anymore. How did it happen? You suddenly find out that memory does fail, your memory, that is. Memory cannot be counted on much when it comes to the intangibles. As such, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Processing of the information gathered by the eye is done by the mind. The information is then interpreted and judged whether it is worthy of storage or not. If is not, then is immediately discarded, If it is, then it is stored in the memory. Therefore, it is not quite true that she is beautiful. She's not really gorgeous. Your mind only conspired with her image to make her look so.

Ang aking pamilya

Ang aking pamilya ay simple lamang. Payak ang aming pamumuhay. Mapalad kami na mapabilang sa gitnang uri. Dahil dito, ang aking pananaw sa mundo ay balanse. Nakikita ko ang epkto ng maraming pera sa aking mga kaklase at mga kaibigang mayayaman. Sa kabilang banda, alam ko rin ang epekto ng sobrang karukhaan. Ang abnormal na kapaligiran ay nakapagdudulot lamang ng kabuktutan sa mga miyembro ng pamilya. Sa rami ng kanilang pera, ang mga elitista ay walang pakialam o alam sa hirap na kailangan danasin ng isang ordinaryo tao upang mamuhay na may dignidad sa loob ng isang araw. Hindi niya gamay ang katotohanan ukol sa pagdurusang namamayani sa buong mundo, ang hirap ng pagiging tao at ang mabuting buhay. Ang mahirap ay hindi rin malaya sa epekto ng abnormalidad. Dahil sa gutom, hindi maayos ang kanyang paglaki at pagkahubog bilang isang kapakipakinabang na mamamayan ng lipunan. Bukod pa rito, hinuhusgahan niya agad ang lahat ng mga mayayaman na walang puso at mukhang pera, walang makaawa at makasarili.

New Order's Krafty

About the girl in the music video Krafty. She's simply beautiful. Other than that, the video's really suggestive of sexual intercourse. The lyrics are about sex. The graphics are about sex. The whole video is about sex. I'm starting to think that she's not that sexy anymore. Anyhow, I feel that I got a crush on her. Do you know her name? Will you be kind enough to tell me it? It's my first time to see such a video that's so sexual yet it wasn't censored at all by the authorities. I hope that I will find myself a wife more beautiful than that woman. I hate it when I see through media because the content is so blurred. That's I have a jaded feeling about hearsays and gossips. They're so illogical, baseless, and confusing. Moreover, they destroy lives, families, peace, order, and tranquility. When will a woman kiss me? When will I kiss a woman? When will I truly love another person, not just myself? I don't know. Maybe you know. Please tell me when you do know. Do tell me. Lord, God, Son of Man, please tell me. Tell me the things so I may know. So that I may be able to serve you better. I do not rely on myself but on you only, always. Please forgive me for all of my wrongdoings. Finally, may you plan and change my life forever. Amen.